He/She Defamed Me; What Can I Do?

Divorce doesn’t have to be nasty. It’s certainly difficult and emotional (as it should be), but it doesn’t have to devolve in to a mud-throwing fest.

In fact, we as attorneys work hard to keep things from getting muddy. It almost never helps anyone, and it almost always ends up costing more money.

Sometimes, though, no matter how hard you try, someone takes things too far. People say things that are untrue to family and friends and (in our day and age) Facebook. They know these things are untrue, but they say them anyway just to hurt and intimidate.

These lies will come from soon-to-be-ex spouses, but more often than not, they come from new girlfriends or boyfriends. How this is a good idea, I’m not sure, but it happens.

Situations like this very often amount to defamation. Defamation is, essentially, publicly telling lies about someone when you know they’re lies in order to hurt someone’s reputation.

How Should I Handle The Situation?

There are a few options to deal with these defamation situations. Let me go over a few options.

  1. Sue for defamation.

Many people’s first reaction is to sue for defamation. I’m a lawyer. I like to sue things. I get the impulse. Usually, however, this is not a great option. First, suing for defamation is expensive. An attorney will charge you by the hour for the case, and the bill will go high very quickly. Second, defamation cases take a long time and are difficult to win. Third, even if you do win, you have to prove some sort of economic damage to get money, which is very, very difficult to do (you would probably need to hire an expert to talk about damages, and those experts are expensive).

  1. Call the police and report whoever is defaming you for harassment.

Very often, when people defame others, they also harass them. They send multiple threatening emails and texts. They call all the time. It all seems to be part of a package. If this is the case, take those calls, emails, texts, whatever to the police and try to have the person charged with harassment. This works surprisingly well, and when charges are filed, or the cops call the defamer to discuss what’s going on, the defamation magically stops.

  1. Use your evidence of defamation in your divorce case.

Judges do not like it when parents defame each other, or when their boyfriends/girlfriends defame the other parent. In fact, judges often see this sort of behavior as an attack on the other parent’s relationship with the children. Since facilitating a good relationship between the kids and the other parent is a major factor in determining custody and parent-time, defaming the other parent can end up costing dearly. People have lost custody and received less parent-time for this type of behavior.

So, if this is happening to you, gather all your evidence and give it to your attorney. You can use it at temporary orders, in mediation, or at trial.

In the End

In the end, how you handle this situation is up to you. I can tell you from my experience, it’s best to call the police and report harassment. That usually solves the problem. Then, you take that evidence and use it in your divorce case to show the court the other parent’s true colors. That’s what’s worked for our clients.

Protect Your Money And Your Family

We remove fear associated with divorce, protect your money & maximize time with your kids!

We're here to help. Let's determine your best options.

Call Us 24//7 at 801-685-9999 to Speak with a Live Representative

Utah Divorce FAQs
Top 100 Divorce Blog
What Clients Are Saying…
BrownLaw icon
Excellent
Brown Family Law
Based on 980 reviews
I would highly recommend Clay to anyone! He is absolutely amazing and keeps you updated and informed with everything going on with your case!
Paul is a first-class attorney who not only has the skill to stand up for justice and guide your case to a successful resolution, but also demonstrates genuine care for his clients. A truly unique presence in his field.
Clay Randle at Brown Family Law is a master of clarity in the midst of complexity.

I hired Clay to help me navigate a divorce involving contested marital and premarital properties spread across multiple states. The legal terrain was anything but simple. Valuation disputes, and emotionally charged negotiations. Clay handled it all with precision, professionalism, and a calm that made a difficult process feel manageable.

What stood out most was his ability to distill complicated legal issues into clear, actionable steps. He was responsive, strategic, and always one step ahead in anticipating challenges. I never felt lost in the process—Clay made sure I understood my options and the implications of every decision.

If you’re facing a divorce with significant property concerns —Clay is the kind of attorney who brings both legal rigor and human empathy. I’m grateful for his guidance and would recommend him without hesitation.
Dani was very knowledgeable. She answered all my questions in timely manner. Would highly recommend working with her!
Paul Waldron offers a competent and mindful approach to navigating family law. Thank you Paul for being an asset in our community that we can all depend on.
Clay really knows how to take care of his clients!
Clay is one of the most knowledgeable attorneys I’ve talked to. He has a great grasp of family law and is an amazing advocate.
I send all my family law clients to Clay. As a lawyer myself, I know how important good representation is. Clay honestly cares about his clients and is a very good strategist. He’s also really funny.
Clay is an amazing, compassionate, and talented lawyer. Highly recommend him and the firm.
David and Dani were very helpful and made my case as stress free as possible.
yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7

Categories