My Ex and I Are Going to Share 50/50 Custody; how close Should We Live to Each Other?

Look, you’re getting divorced, and you’re not a big fan of your soon-to-be ex.

This probably means you don’t really want to leave nearby.

You want distance and to start a new life.

That makes complete sense. Don’t blame you in the least.

But, you’re going to share 50/50 custody, and that brings with it some limitations.

The biggest limitation is this: you won’t be able to livev very far apart from your ex.

What I mean by not very far apart is at most 20 miles.

Ideally, you want to live 5 or fewer miles apart.

Here’s why:

  1. Driving more than 20 miles to take kids to school, church, or to activities isn’t sustainable.

20 miles usually means 30+ minutes one way. Parents can handle that type of drive time for a while, but, in my experience, they can’t do it for more than about a year.

What this means is the parent who has to drive 20+ miles stops exercising as much parent-time. It’s just too much for most people.

Make it easy on yourself, live within 5 miles of your ex.

  1. Kids tend to have better social lives if both parents live near each other.

When you live close to your ex, your kids are never very far apart from their friends, which means they interact with them more often. If you live 20+ miles away from your ex, you kids will probably live two separate lives.

  1. You’ll probably have a better parenting relationship with your ex.

When exes live close, they tend to interact and communicate more, which allows them to have a better parenting relationship. This benefits you and your kids.

For example, a better relationship means less conflict and stress. And, you’ll cooperate more with each other (e.g., taking the kids when something unexpected comes up). Better communication also means you’ll be able to openly discuss issues and make good decisions about your kids.

Call Brown Family Law

If you find yourself facing a Utah divorce, please call 801.685.9999 for an in-person consultation, or use our online scheduling tool.

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Worked with Nick and Carren they did an awesome job with a difficult situation. The whole Brown law team was excellent to work with. I would highly recommend them to anyone that needs thier services. Thank you Nick and Carren also the rest of the team. On a side note everyone i delt with was very friendly! Thank you again!
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Navigating a divorce is never easy, and I am so grateful to have had the support of attorney Nathaniel Garrabrandt and paralegal Carren Leavitt. From start to finish, they were responsive, professional, and compassionate. I really appreciated the weekly check-in Every phone call and email was answered promptly. There were moments when I needed immediate help with custody issues and protection—Nathaniel handled those situations with calm expertise and gave me the reassurance I needed during such a stressful and uncertain time.

Divorce can feel overwhelming, but having strong legal guidance made all the difference. Nathaniel and Carren provided not only the legal knowledge but also the steady support that helped me feel protected and confident moving forward. I couldn’t recommend Briwn Family Law more highly to anyone needing a reliable and caring legal team!
David Handy and his team were fantastic in helping me navigate custody time with my daughter. He gave the me reassurance and encouragement I needed with each step and I couldn't be more grateful to him! Thanks David! And to his team Candace & Brooklyn for being very helpful in keeping constant communication open. I enjoyed working with everyone!
I had a great experience. Amazing guidance and direction to best help me and my situation.
This has honestly been a first-class experience! I've gotten to work with many attorneys throughout my life and none have been as attentive as, Clay Randle has been.
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