My Ex and I Are Going to Share 50/50 Custody; how close Should We Live to Each Other?

Look, you’re getting divorced, and you’re not a big fan of your soon-to-be ex.

This probably means you don’t really want to leave nearby.

You want distance and to start a new life.

That makes complete sense. Don’t blame you in the least.

But, you’re going to share 50/50 custody, and that brings with it some limitations.

The biggest limitation is this: you won’t be able to livev very far apart from your ex.

What I mean by not very far apart is at most 20 miles.

Ideally, you want to live 5 or fewer miles apart.

Here’s why:

  1. Driving more than 20 miles to take kids to school, church, or to activities isn’t sustainable.

20 miles usually means 30+ minutes one way. Parents can handle that type of drive time for a while, but, in my experience, they can’t do it for more than about a year.

What this means is the parent who has to drive 20+ miles stops exercising as much parent-time. It’s just too much for most people.

Make it easy on yourself, live within 5 miles of your ex.

  1. Kids tend to have better social lives if both parents live near each other.

When you live close to your ex, your kids are never very far apart from their friends, which means they interact with them more often. If you live 20+ miles away from your ex, you kids will probably live two separate lives.

  1. You’ll probably have a better parenting relationship with your ex.

When exes live close, they tend to interact and communicate more, which allows them to have a better parenting relationship. This benefits you and your kids.

For example, a better relationship means less conflict and stress. And, you’ll cooperate more with each other (e.g., taking the kids when something unexpected comes up). Better communication also means you’ll be able to openly discuss issues and make good decisions about your kids.

Call Brown Family Law

If you find yourself facing a Utah divorce, please call 801.685.9999 for an in-person consultation, or use our online scheduling tool.

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Leilani was incredible to work with throughout my case. She was always available when I needed her, and both she and Dani consistently went out of their way especially every Wednesday and Friday, to make sure they made time for me. Their dedication and responsiveness never went unnoticed. Leilani handled everything with professionalism and care, guiding me step by step toward a resolution. I truly appreciate the support, communication, and commitment they showed from start to finish
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Going through a custody case is overwhelming, but having my attorney Nick, made all the difference. He was calm when I was stressed, always responsive, explained everything clearly, and truly had my child’s best interest at heart. Attention to detail, and courtroom presence made a huge difference. I felt heard, respected, and protected throughout the entire process. His communication was clear and consistent, and I never felt left in the dark. I’m beyond grateful for his hard work and dedication. I would absolutely recommend Nick to anyone needing strong, compassionate representation .
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I’m very glad I chose Brown Family Law to handle my divorce. From start to finish, the process went smoothly. Divorce can be incredibly stressful, but much of that stress was eased thanks to their professionalism and guidance. Special thanks to Nicholas Schwarz and Carren Leavitt—both are outstanding attorneys who clearly know exactly what they’re doing. I couldn’t have asked for better representation. Thank you!
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Nick and his team were professional, responsive, and incredibly effective. I’m extremely grateful for their guidance and highly recommend them to anyone needing a divorce.
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Brown Family law. Nick and his partner Carren did a fantastic job handling my divorce. They always had my back. It was a difficult time of my life. They kept in touch with me every week. They were so though. I absolutely would record them.
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Working with Carren was a great experience. She not only deeply knowledgeable about the legal process, but also incredibly patient in answering my questions and explaining complex documents. She was always responsive, professional, and went above and beyond to ensure I felt supported throughout my case. I couldn’t have asked for better help!
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