Who Loses More in a Divorce?

There are no winners in a divorce. The degree and extent of loss that each divorced spouse suffers depend on many factors. But overall the loss can be classified into four categories:

Who Loses More in a Divorce?
  1. Financial loss
  2. Children-related loss
  3. Health-related loss
  4. Social loss

In a divorce, the assets that both spouses accumulated together get divided, the time, energy, and love they invested in the marriage is wasted, and their children’s lives are turned upside down. There are only losers in a divorce, and the degree and the extent of loss each party suffers depends on the prevailing circumstances.

Financial Loss

Though men can feel financially stressed after the divorce because they may have to pay alimony, child support, move out to another home, and generally spend more every month, many studies suggest that the economic impact of divorce adversely impacts women more than men.

After divorce, a woman’s household income can decline drastically, especially if she was a homemaker without an income source during the marriage. A study conducted in the U.S. suggests that post-divorce,women experience a 27% decline in their standard of living compared to a 10% decline experienced by men.

Researchers believe that after divorce women with child custody can face hurdles like restricted income-earning capacities or opportunities, inadequate child support in an economy plagued by high inflation, and loss of a key source of income.

But this isn’t one-sided. Men tend to suffer more depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, loneliness, and suicide after divorce, which often adversely impacts their health, income, and net worth.

So, from the economic standpoint, women who have child custody or those who have been homemakers during the marriage can suffer the most, but really, both men and women tend to suffer just in slightly different economic ways.

Then there is another situation too – of a spouse who after marriage converted his/her separate property into community property. After divorce, this property will normally be shared 50/50 between both spouses. So, the spouse who originally was the sole owner of the property ends up getting just a 50% share in his/her originally-owned property. That is a substantial loss for this spouse.

Children-Related Loss

After divorce, the spouses and the children have to adjust to a new reality. Spouses are adults and can somehow reconcile their lives with the new normal. It is the children who suffer the most and some can even lose trust in their parent(s). The sight of the child suffering or seeing him lose trust in the father and/or mother can be painful for any parent.

Studies by social scientists have confirmed the obvious fact that the quality of the parent–child relationship is directly linked to the time spent by the child with both the parents during the marriage and after divorce. When one parent did not care, the relationship was the poorest. When both parents were equally involved in bringing up the child, the relationship was the strongest. Also, after divorce, an equal number of overnight stays with the father strengthened his bond with the child without deteriorating the child’s relationship with the mother.

The studies show negative impacts from divorce independent of time with each parent, but both parents being involved can ameliorate negative effects.

Another study has discovered that a divorced father is likely to be less nurturing than the mother, and that he may become detached from his young children if he does not get legal or physical custody.

Health-Related Loss

Spouses generally are likely to invest a lot of energy and passion in holding the marriage together for as long as they can, but may opt for divorce when they realize that their efforts have gone in vain, for whatever reason. According to some researchers, more women than men are likely to petition for divorce.

These researchers have discovered that after divorce, women are generally healthier than divorced men. They add that a man’s health benefits a lot from marriage, and divorce decreases his health quotient and life satisfaction levels, and increases his risk of mortality. That is because in most marriages it is the woman who provides nutritious and healthy food to the family. After divorce, the man may have to depend on his, possibly, not-as-well-developed, cooking skills or eat more often in a restaurant. Turning to alcohol, smoking, eating junk food, or leading a sedentary lifestyle, can only make matters worse.

Also, a spouse’s decision to divorce can surprise or shock the other spouse, who may experience a lot of psychological distress. The spouse who planned the divorce is not likely to feel the shock and awe as the spouse who is at the receiving end.

Social Loss

The noncustodial parent may suffer from loneliness if he/she finds the parent-time inadequate. Then, employed parents can find that meeting the child according to the visitation schedule can pose a challenge. A custodial parent can find it difficult to raise a child, or find childcare challenging while doing everything all alone. Plus, the custodial parent may not get enough free time to socialize or find a new partner, leading to possible psychological issues.

Though divorce does not carry the same stigma that it did decades ago, one cannot stop wagging tongues that are out to blacken a parent’s name in the community. Divorce can also disrupt an established network of friends and relatives that has been built and nurtured over many years.

So, to sum up, both spouses lose in a divorce. The separation can impact them financially, socially, psychologically, as well as on health grounds. The degree of hurt depends on each spouse’s mental makeup, but there is no escaping the fact that there are no winners in a divorce.

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About the Author: Keith Bruss
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Marco and his team at Brown Family Law have created nearly the perfect system for getting divorced in Utah. From the initial intake, to gathering all of the necessary documentation, to the client communication in between. There is so much work that goes into getting divorced, but with Marco and his team you'll always know where you are in the process and what happens next, which is such a comfort. Would highly recommend.
I would give them 10 stars if I could. Clay was professional and super organized. He took the time to explain everything. I would highly recommend him for any family law needed. Melanie was a godsend. She not only kept me continually informed of the progress, she sent texts of encouragement and support throughout the entire process. I would give her 100 stars for going above and beyond to make this experience less stressful. Her encouragement and genuine caring were comforting and calming. The entire staff at Brown Law are on your side and if you are lucky enough to get Clay and Melanie on your team you will not be disappointed. Thanks! Mack M.
Response from the owner:Wow, thank you so much. Melanie is great. Glad she helped you so well.
Nathaniel was an incredible partner throughout the divorce process. He was organized, responsive and respectful of my wishes while simultaneously giving me guidance and advice. I would recommend him to anyone.
I couldn’t have made it through my divorce without Clay and his team! I am forever thankful for the hours and time spent with me to help navigate an extremely difficult time in life. They’re reliable, knowledgeable, and know how to get things moving in an efficient manner. Nothing but good to say here!!
Working with Daniel Young at Brown Family Law was a truly positive experience during one of the most difficult times of my life. From the start, Daniel was knowledgeable, compassionate, and incredibly responsive.
If you need a family law attorney who combines expertise with empathy, I cannot recommend Daniel Young enough. He is a true advocate and a credit to Brown Family Law.
Nathaniel and Carren have been absolutely incredible to work with. They kept me informed and in the loop throughout each step of the process. They always answered every question I had in a very quick and timely manner. I could not recommend them more.
This 5-star review is for Nathaniel Garrabrandt at Brown Family Law. Nathaniel was just what we needed. He helped guide us with a level of professionalism, efficiency, and genuine care that made a real difference during a challenging time. He is always thoughtful and respectful, and he never makes you feel like just another case. His communication was clear (with regular check-ins), his advice was solid and uncomplicated, and I always felt that he had his client's best interest at heart as he made suggestions. I’m grateful to have had such a capable and compassionate attorney to work with. You hope you never need these kind of services, but when you do, you want the best... and someone with high integrity. Nathaniel truly deserves all 5 of these stars, in every way.
Russell Yauney was my attorney at Brown Family Law. Throughout the process, Russell and his paralegal Conor, were extremely helpful and patient. They were highly responsive, thorough, and most importantly: did not make me feel insignificant or embarrassed for asking clarifying questions. Russell made himself available and whenever he wasn't, Conor was. The Friday Phone Calls were reliable and I knew I could expect an update each week. The firm's texting abilities also made it easy to send a quick question/concern if I ever needed it. Russell was a fantastic attorney and guide to have throughout my situation. I highly recommend this firm.
This law firm went above and beyond for me and my case. I would highly recommend them to anyone needing a good lawyer for custody issues.
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Carren is absolutely amazing! Made things easy and always was helpful explaining.
Shout out to Carlos! Very nice, and knows the value of good legal representation.
Jennifer and Dani did a wonderful job handling my case. The communication and accessibility were top notch.
Brown Family Law is very professional. They use their phenomenal expertise to manage every case with care. I would highly recommend them.
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Very thorough and on top of dates and timing for various documents.
My attorney Andrew Christensen was great! He was very helpful while being realistic and upfront with me at the initial consultation. He did a great job of guiding me and answering any questions I had throughout the whole process. My paralegal Carren Leavitt was also very helpful. I appreciated her weekly check-ins, for the aid she provided, and the questions answered.
Clay Randle provided exceptional support and counsel. He was patient, knowledgeable, and thoughtfully addressed my many questions and concerns. Thank you very much!
Paul and Dani were incredibly communicative, educational, willing to work with our unique circumstances, and took the whole process from complicated and overwhelming to simple. Highly recommend!!
Nathaniel was very personable and listened. He is also incredibly knowledgeable, effective, and efficient. Brown Family Law is a pinnacle of law firms.
I highly recommend Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law. If you are going through a divorce and your parental rights are being falsely challenged they are a great option. Nathaniel and Brown family law are professional, very knowledgeable, and know how to navigate within the broken and biased Utah family law court system. They were highly communicative throughout the process. They can potentially save you a lot of time and money if lawfare is being waged against you.
Could not help with my case but referred me to someone who could .
Clay Randle was great and I would highly recommend him for an attorney.
Russell was my Lawyer at Brown Family Law. He helped me through my multiple cases after my divorce. He was very responsive whenever I had questions about my cases or understanding how the law works. Russell was respectful of how he used my retainer and always gave me good sound advice even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I highly recommend his services if you’re looking for a top notch Family lawyer! 5 out of 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I recently engaged Andrew to review my divorce decree that was finalized in another state. He gave me excellent advice. I did not feel pressured to proceed one way or another. Instead, he gave me very reasonable scenarios to consider and allowed me to proceed down the path that felt most comfortable to me.
Clay Randle with Brown Family Law was excellent! I love the way the procedures with this company are organized. The attorney calls every Friday to check in with you so there’s no phone tag. Questions are answered very timely every week. Clay was very prompt in responding to emails. He was also great to “read the room” or the situation rather. Throughout the divorce, where grace was extended and healthy negotiation prevailed, he appeared to navigate the process in a calm and skillful way. I could see how he definitely had the capacity to respond in a more contentious, emotionally charged way if needed. He encouraged healthy boundaries with the splitting of assets and he understood both sides of what could happen if asking for a specific thing in the divorce. During a painful situation, Clay was able to crack some (tasteful) jokes and tried to keep a heavy situation feel a little less heavy. Couples seeking a divorce would be wise to choose Brown Family Law. They will be in great hands.
I wholeheartedly recommend Andrew Christensen to anyone facing a divorce or custody battle. His passion and thoroughness as a divorce and custody attorney are truly exceptional. You’d think his name was on the firm’s door with the way he handles business—pouring his heart and expertise into every detail, even though it’s not his firm! From our first meeting, Andrew went far beyond a typical consultation, taking the time to listen, understand my situation, and craft a strategy that led to a successful outcome in my custody case. His dedication, compassion, and meticulous approach make him stand out. If you need an attorney who will fight for you like it’s personal, Andrew is the one to call!
I absolutely believe that Brown Family Law is the best divorce attorney law firm in Utah. Attorney Ray Hingson did a fantastic job for me in a complicated divorce. He was there to guide me through the entire process. Ray touched base with me every week AND every time I called with worries or concerns. He handled things confidently and professionally. He took time to meet with me and explain everything so I could understand it. I felt like he really cared and wanted to do his best for me. His paralegal, Carren Leavitt, was also extremely helpful. All I had to do was pick up the phone and call her and she arranged a time for Ray to call me right back. She was always prompt and caring. I couldn't be happier!
Anne and Josh are Fantastic!!
I couldn’t have done it without Nathaniel Garrabrandt and the Brown Family Law truly the best experience and people to work with thank you!!
Brown Family Law is likely the most outstanding Family Law office in Utah. They care deeply about each client, responds quickly to every client question and concerns. If anyone is in a situation of divorce and/or child custody, I highly recommend this office to assist you with your rights. They stand firmly behind their clients.
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I can’t say enough good things about Clay Randle and Katrina Redd. They were both incredibly professional, responsive, and knowledgeable throughout my case. Their experience and advice were invaluable, and I truly appreciated their support every step of the way.
Daniel was patient, efficient, professional, and kind. Brown Family Law was easy to work with and very competent. Highly recommend.
Muchas gracias, professionales. Me ayudaron con mi caso, gracias.
Leilani Whitmer was my attorney for mediation day at the provo 4th district court on May 9th and absolutely knocked it out of the park. She made the process so smooth and easy I'd recommend her for any family law issue you could possibly fathom.
Clay Randle is absolutely amazing, well educated, knowledgeable lawyer. He’s approached, always makes sure you’re on the top of the situation and very helpful. I’ve had a pleasure working with him and I recommend him as your top notch attorney.
Brown Family Law has been wonderful to work with! Extremely knowledgeable and professional. Clay went the extra effort in everything he did for us. Couldn’t be more pleased!! I highly recommend their services.
Marco is beyond insightful!
Great support, Russell and Connor were amazing and got my case dismissed in only 2 months. Great communication with weekly calls. Easy to work with and were very conscious on not overspending my budget. Great team.
Response from the owner:Daniel, thank you for the kind words, and happy Russell and Connor did well for you.
Anne Greyson long was great to work with she really listens and fights for her clients thank you so much for all your hard work
Response from the owner:Thank you, Heather. Glad Anne-Greyson helped you so well.
You get what you pay for, and the Brown Family team is worth every penny. We truly appreciated their team-based approach, making sure that every detail of our case was thoughtfully handled. They were incredibly easy to work with, kept us informed throughout the process, and made sure no question ever went unanswered. By far the best family attorneys I’ve worked with, and the only ones I’ll call if I ever need legal help again.
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Andrew made the whole process smooth and quick! Kept me updated on any changes, and followed up with me constantly!

Made me feel at ease throughout the whole process and made sure I felt seen/ heard!
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David Handy is my attorney and he is excellent. He understands my cases and is well informed to defend my needs and the needs of my kids. He is supportive and compassionate. Telling me how things are and what to expect. He does very well with my high conflict cases (protective order and divorce). I highly recommend him and the Brown Family Law firm. Everyone I have talked to is helpful. Especially Conor Schetzel who is currently the paralegal on my cases.
Response from the owner:Suzanne, thank you and glad David has taken care of you.
Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law is where I send people who are seeking Divorce. Highly professional and compassionate. Thank you!
Response from the owner:Jaren, thank you for the referrals.
I cannot say enough good about my experience with Brown Family Law. Ray Hingson and paralegal Carren did an excellent job with my case. I will definitely use this firm again for any legal issues.
Response from the owner:Meghann, so glad Ray and Carren took good care of you.
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What Makes Us Different

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.