Should We Do Parent-Time Exchanges at a Police Station?

Divorce is tough.

When you’re going through divorce, emotions run high, and sometimes they overrun logic.

So, it’s no surprise that parent-time exchanges (i.e., when kids are exchanged between parents for visitation) can get a little heated.

Most of the time, it’s pretty easy to tamp down the emotions by ensuring parents don’t really interact much during the exchanges.

Easiest way to do this is by doing what we call a curb-side drop-off. In other words, the parenting dropping off the kids stays in the car while the kids walk from the car (parked on the curb) in to the other parent’s house.

Problem almost always solved.

But, there are those situations in which even a curb-side drop-off doesn’t help.

Sometimes, people simply can’t help but come out of the house to yell at the other parent. Or, the parent dropping off the kids will walk the kids to the house, just to bug the other parent.

And then things escalate.

Not good.

It’s at this point, when nothing else works, that you may think about doing parent-time exchanges at a police station.

Police station exchanges should be the last resort for two reasons:

They’re really inconvenient.
Kids hate them.

Think about it: instead of exchanging kids at home, everyone has to drive to a police station somewhere, wait, exchange your kids in front of cops walking around everywhere, and then drive home.

Also, kids are perceptive, which means they understand something is very wrong when mom and dad can’t be around each other except at a police station.

That in itself is traumatizing, and we don’t do things that traumatize kids unless all other options will traumatize them more.

Here is a list of how and where you should do parent-time exchanges, from best option to worst option:

Drive kids to each parent’s home. Walk up to the house. Talk civilly about kids and whatever else you need to.
Curb-side drop-off. Text to let the other parent know the kids are coming.
Curb-side drop-off. No talking.
Family member, instead of the parent, does the exchange at parent’s home.
Significant other/new spouse, instead of the parent, does the exchange at parent’s home.
Exchange takes place at a gas station or some other neutral location.
Exchange takes place at a police station.

Again, the police station is the last resort. Do everything you can to not go there.

Call Brown Family Law

If you find yourself facing a Utah divorce, please call 801.685.9999 for an in-person consultation, or use our online scheduling tool.

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Andrew did a great on my case. Communication was consistent, to the point and he kept me well informed. I also had the pleasure working with Clay. Top notch firm, very confident, and I would highly recommend them if you want to win. Thanks again team ~D

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I would hands down suggest Brown Family Law. Nathaniel helped me with my divorce, and he was very knowlegeable and knows his stuff. He helped me file a motion, get somethings changed in the original decree, helped me understand the terms they use, helped me understand how child support is calculated along is all the financial aspects associated with divorce case. He also is very responsive to phone calls and emails which was very helpful whenever I had small questions. Thank you Nathaniel!

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I can’t say enough good things about Brown Family Law, but more specifically, my lawyer David Handy and his paralegal Dani. They are kind and honest and always available to me when I’ve needed them! This is such an exhausting time and they alleviated all of my stress by taking control. I could trust the process knowing I was in great hands!!! The entire law firm works as a team to take care of you! I can’t recommend them enough! Thank you!!!

Response from the owner: Ryan, so glad David and Dani served you so well and alleviated your stress.

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They handled my case with the highest degree of professionalism and integrity and made every effort to be efficient and transparent with me throughout the whole process. I was told that they were the best as far as family law is concerned and I believe that praise was fully justified.

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Overall from start to finish the best experience to have dealing with a time that is difficult.Andrew Christensen is very professional and out going to make this situation the best it could be and worked hard to make sure the divorce was fair for me.Over all, this firm really cares and treats you as a family or friend and just not a client, down to Marco Brown taking time to see how I was doing and offer to help in any way possible during my divorce while I was there for my first initial meeting.I would highly recommend anyone that has to go through a divorce to really reach out to the Brown Family Law firm and see for your self the experience I was able to receive from a top notch law firm.

Response from the owner: Devin, thank you for the kind words. Andrew appreciated the opportunity to help you with your situation.

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