Most divorced parents think they have to let their ex call them and text them.
Usually, that’s not a bad idea. It is the easiest and quickest way to communicate.
Somethings, though, when your ex is mean, insulting, controlling, and terrible to you, texting and talking on the phone is just a bad idea.
You don’t need to give your ex access to your phone so he or she can belittle you and text you twenty times a day. There’s nothing in the law saying you have to let your ex abuse you over the phone. I know, I’ve read the law. It’s not there.
If your ex is terrible to you, and you feel a knot in your stomach every time your phone chimes with a text message, block your ex.
Yes, you can do that. You can block your ex’s number.
When I say this, people usually say, “But what about the kids? How will we communicate about them?”
Good question. Here’s what I tell my Utah divorce clients.
Set up a separate email and don’t us that email for anything other than communicating with your ex. (Do not, I repeat, do not use your regular, personal email for this.) Then, tell your ex you will send an email once per week sharing information about the kids and how they’re doing. Tell your ex that’s how you will communicate from then on.
This tends to help lessen the abuse you so often experience from an abusive ex. It’s surprising how much better they tend to behave over email compared to text.
Oh, and if the kids usually talk to your ex on your phone, don’t worry.
They can talk to your ex over Zoom, or you can buy them a separate phone that is only used so they can call your ex. Turn off the phone when your kids aren’t using it.
Hope this advice helps.