Psychologists and divorce lawyers have discovered that the following 6 signs in a marriage may trigger a divorce:
- Emotional Disconnect
- Wary Behavior
- Uncaring Attitude
- Secretive Attitude
- New Looks, New Attitude
No online guide or research report can say with 100% accuracy that one or two signs in a spouse’s behavior indicate that divorce is around the corner. However, there are some warning signs that a spouse must pay heed to that may (or may not) trigger a divorce. Unusual behavior of a spouse happening once in a while and followed by normalcy may not be a tell-tale sign of divorce. However, if the spouse’s unusual behavior does not change, or keeps getting worse, then, yes, there may be trouble in the air. Actually, it also depends on the situation, home environment, and the circumstances that led to this kind of behavioral change in the spouse.
With that said, here are the warning signs of divorce that need to be taken seriously:
1. Emotional Disconnect
- The spouses don’t share their moments of sorrow or happiness.
- A spouse starts resolving his/her problems without sharing them with the other spouse. Or, he/she no longer resolves issues mutually, the way it is usually done in a marriage.
- A spouse does not care or show any interest when the other spouse shares his/her problems, or is not ecstatic when any cheerful news is shared with him/her.
- A spouse is unmoved by the other spouse’s emotions.
- The time spent together keeps declining for no valid reason.
- There is a lack of intimacy (physical as well as emotional).
- A spouse feels unloved and uncared for.
- A spouse does not commit to plans that the other spouse feels are good for the marriage.
- A spouse does not seem to be invested in the marriage and his/her lack of interest keeps growing over time.
- A spouse pulls back when the other spouse tries to get close to him (physically or emotionally).
- A spouse starts talking about how to become more independent and self-reliant in the marriage.
- A spouse keeps putting off discussing problems in the relationship – saying that problems can be resolved at a later date or when the time is right.
- There is a lack of arguments in the marriage (because each spouse avoids discussing issues or resolves problems himself/herself).
3. Wary Behavior
- A spouse is suspicious of the other spouse or ultra-careful most of the time – he/she feels that the other spouse may take advantage of him/her, trying to restrict him/her, or is trying to gather information.
- A spouse gets irritated when questioned.
- A spouse rarely expresses his/her own emotions (maybe he/she is afraid of slipping up by saying something secretive).
4. Uncaring Attitude
- Both spouses argue or fight frequently and say things that are calculated to hurt.
- Both or one spouse simply does not care about anything that goes on with the other spouse.
- Both spouses disagree about significant decisions (having children, giving up on substance abuse, etc.).
- Arguments or fights seem like a Mexican stand-off – with both spouses displaying a trigger-happy attitude.
- A spouse is not available, maybe deliberately, when the other spouse needs him/her the most.
- Marital problems remain unresolved, and one or both spouses give a damn.
- A spouse goes out often with unknown friends or on unscheduled work-related trips or starts traveling frequently all of a sudden.
5. Secretive Attitude
- He/she changes social media/email passwords, is careful about stuff posted on social media, or gives away tell-tale signals like closing his/her computer when the other spouse walks by.
- A spouse gets suddenly secretive about marital assets and money or shows sudden interest in marital property.
6. New Looks, New Attitude
- A spouse suddenly changes his looks or starts caring about his/her looks, while displaying one or more of the signs mentioned above.
- A spouse develops a carefree, devil-may-care attitude towards the marriage without any valid reason.
If you come across such signs, and if they occur frequently or consistently, then it is a red flag. At one stage, you may feel deprived, emotionally depreciated, insignificant, confused, disliked, guilty, lonely, or unworthy in the marriage. You should then take firm steps to resolve the issues – i.e., either try and repair the irreconcilable differences or file for divorce – you should know what comes next one way or the other.
Note: Domestic violence and child abuse are not mentioned as warning signs of divorce because they are off-limits and should not be tolerated.