4 Things You Must Do to Help Kids Get Through Divorce

For children, watching their parents split up can be emotionally trying and confusing. You and your spouse may know that it’s for the best, and you may even be planning an amicable split, expecting to stay friends and raise the kids together even after you break off your legal marriage contract. Still, you have to remember that it may be tougher on the kids than it is on you. Below are four things you should do to help it go as smoothly for them as it will for you.

Tell All of the Kids at Once

If you have multiple children, don’t try to talk to them when you can, one-on-one, and risk one of the kids finding out about the split from a sibling – or, worse yet, from a friend. Instead, bring all of your children together and tell them at the same time. Above all else, don’t tell some children and then instruct them to keep it a secret from the others for any amount of time.

Plan Out When and Where to Tell the Kids

Your children are going to remember being told about your divorce for the rest of their lives. Try to pick a safe space to break the news. Don’t do it out of the blue, in a way that makes it more difficult. It may also not be wise to bring it up during the holidays, or your kids are going to have that memory linked to the holiday forever.

Don’t Blame Anyone

Of course, you never want to blame the kids for the split. In fact, it’s crucial that you stress exactly the opposite. Tell the children repeatedly that they didn’t make it happen, they didn’t do anything wrong, and they should never feel like it’s their fault. At the same time, don’t blame your spouse in front of them – even if you do privately. Your children have a relationship with your spouse that won’t end just because yours does.

Avoid the Details and Stick to A Simple Announcement

You don’t have to get into all of the messy details with your kids. Young children likely won’t understand them, anyway. Don’t stress them out by letting them hear you talk extensively about finances, splitting up assets, or child custody plans. Just keeps things simple. You want the kids to be informed, and you shouldn’t hide the divorce from them, but you also want to shelter them from the things they can’t control that will make it harder on them.

Getting Through Your Divorce

The key to getting through your divorce quickly – which can also help the children, since they won’t feel trapped in the process for months on end – is to know your legal options and to know your rights. Have an idea of what you want and deserve, be willing to work with your spouse when possible and willing to defend your rights when need be, and execute your plan efficiently.

Being prepared helps you wade through the details and then move on with your life, focusing on your children’s best interests and overall happiness.

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Greg Misener

Marco and his team at Brown Family Law have created nearly the perfect system for getting divorced in Utah. From the initial intake, to gathering all of the necessary documentation, to the client communication in between. There is so much work that goes into getting divorced, but with Marco and his team you'll always know where you are in the process and what happens next, which is such a comfort. Would highly recommend.

Mack

I would give them 10 stars if I could. Clay was professional and super organized. He took the time to explain everything. I would highly recommend him for any family law needed. Melanie was a godsend. She not only kept me continually informed of the progress, she sent texts of encouragement and support throughout the entire process. I would give her 100 stars for going above and beyond to make this experience less stressful. Her encouragement and genuine caring were comforting and calming. The entire staff at Brown Law are on your side and if you are lucky enough to get Clay and Melanie on your team you will not be disappointed. Thanks! Mack M.

Response from the owner:Wow, thank you so much. Melanie is great. Glad she helped you so well.

Alex Rogers

Nathaniel was an incredible partner throughout the divorce process. He was organized, responsive and respectful of my wishes while simultaneously giving me guidance and advice. I would recommend him to anyone.

Christie Cisneros

I couldn’t have made it through my divorce without Clay and his team! I am forever thankful for the hours and time spent with me to help navigate an extremely difficult time in life. They’re reliable, knowledgeable, and know how to get things moving in an efficient manner. Nothing but good to say here!!

Halie Bates

Working with Daniel Young at Brown Family Law was a truly positive experience during one of the most difficult times of my life. From the start, Daniel was knowledgeable, compassionate, and incredibly responsive.
If you need a family law attorney who combines expertise with empathy, I cannot recommend Daniel Young enough. He is a true advocate and a credit to Brown Family Law.

Jessica Lance

Nathaniel and Carren have been absolutely incredible to work with. They kept me informed and in the loop throughout each step of the process. They always answered every question I had in a very quick and timely manner. I could not recommend them more.

Amy Christensen

This 5-star review is for Nathaniel Garrabrandt at Brown Family Law. Nathaniel was just what we needed. He helped guide us with a level of professionalism, efficiency, and genuine care that made a real difference during a challenging time. He is always thoughtful and respectful, and he never makes you feel like just another case. His communication was clear (with regular check-ins), his advice was solid and uncomplicated, and I always felt that he had his client's best interest at heart as he made suggestions. I’m grateful to have had such a capable and compassionate attorney to work with. You hope you never need these kind of services, but when you do, you want the best... and someone with high integrity. Nathaniel truly deserves all 5 of these stars, in every way.

Kenzie Murphy

Russell Yauney was my attorney at Brown Family Law. Throughout the process, Russell and his paralegal Conor, were extremely helpful and patient. They were highly responsive, thorough, and most importantly: did not make me feel insignificant or embarrassed for asking clarifying questions. Russell made himself available and whenever he wasn't, Conor was. The Friday Phone Calls were reliable and I knew I could expect an update each week. The firm's texting abilities also made it easy to send a quick question/concern if I ever needed it. Russell was a fantastic attorney and guide to have throughout my situation. I highly recommend this firm.