How Do You Outsmart A Narcissist In A Divorce?

How Do You Outsmart A Narcissist In A Divorce?

You can outsmart and outwit a narcissist spouse by:

  1. Hiring an effective divorce attorney
  2. Gathering irrefutable evidence
  3. Being a patient listener
  4. Allowing the narcissist spouse to expose his/her true self
  5. Never saying the word “narcissist”

A narcissist spouse can play really dirty and become destructive during the divorce process. He/she can even lie under oath, prolonging the case and making life difficult for you. But you may be able to outsmart the narcissist spouse by taking the following actions:

Hiring An Effective Divorce Attorney

An experienced and effective divorce attorney can easily see through a narcissistic personality disorder. Such attorneys may have successfully argued against narcissist spouses in the past; this experience can prove to be highly advantageous while fighting for your case. You should consider hiring only such an attorney to represent you. These legal professionals know what it takes to shield their clients from the damaging consequences of fighting with a narcissistic spouse. They are also aware that a narcissist approaches divorce from an emotional angle, and he/she may trip up on logic and facts as the case progresses.

When you work with such an experienced and effective lawyer, you are likely to be aware of what comes next and be prepared, and therefore, make informed decisions. An effective divorce lawyer always tells the clients what comes next (as opposed to what the clients want to hear) and what the client should do to ensure he/she gets the rightful alimony, child custody, and share of the marital property.

Experienced divorce attorneys separate the wheat from the chaff and pick on facts and important issues of the case because they know that facts and evidence will ultimately disprove the narcissist and sticking to the main issues will help you win the case.

Gathering Irrefutable Evidence

A narcissist spouse often lies in the courts, makes false allegations, engages in one-upmanship, and generally complicates the case by introducing inconsequential elements that may be loosely connected to the case. Aside from burning money and wasting time, he/she will try to ensure that your money, time, and patience also go down the drain.

The only way to counter such tactics is to gather rock-solid evidence and facts that support your claims and disprove the narcissist. Gather and organize documents, deeds, journals, photos, audio and video evidence, witness accounts, expert opinions, and whatever else that matters, then organize them and hand them over to your attorney and leave the rest to him/her.

Organized and readily available factual documents that prove your claims are extremely important in your fight against a narcissistic spouse.

Being A Patient Listener

The narcissist spouse will try to push the blame on you, lie and make false allegations, and say other unpleasant things in the courts. You don’t have to get emotional and react to your spouse’s allegations. If you do, you will fall into his/her trap and give him/her ammunition to launch further attacks. The divorce case will meander on and your finances and children may suffer. If you have hired the right lawyer, then expect to be counseled and informed about how to react to false allegations and inflammatory material.

Your attorney will coach you on how to remain calm, be a patient listener, and not be reactive. Just follow your attorney’s advice and do as he/she says.

Allowing The Narcissist Spouse To Expose His/Her Character

A narcissist spouse may score in the initial stage of the trial, but as the case progresses and he/she is presented with hardcore evidence, chances are that he/she will get entwined in contradictions. The more the narcissist spouse talks and alleges, the bigger the trap he/she is setting for himself/herself.

After the narcissist spouse is done with his/her allegations, your divorce attorney will seize the opportunity, highlight the contradictions, present the facts, and prove to the courts that the narcissist lied earlier.

Once a lie is established, the courts will become less trustworthy of the narcissist spouse and the balance of power may start shifting in your favor.

Never Saying The Word “Narcissist”

Many spouses are labeled as “narcissists” in the courts and the word is likely overused to such an extent that it turns off judges, attorneys, and other court professionals. You should consider focusing on exposing the other spouse’s malignant behavior, without labeling him/her as a narcissist or indulging in any other name calling.

Published On: August 30th, 2022Categories: DivorceComments Off on How Do You Outsmart A Narcissist In A Divorce?
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About the Author: Marco Brown
Marco C. Brown was named Utah’s Outstanding Family Law Lawyer of the Year in 2015. He graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska College of Law in 2007 and is currently the managing partner of Brown Family Law, LLC.
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