My Husband Is Calling and Threatening Me; What Can I Do?

You’ve decided to get divorced, and your husband’s not taking it well.

He calls and texts. He calls and texts all the time. He won’t stop.

Some of the calls and texts are pleas for you to come back. Many are threats about what will happen if you divorce him.

You want him to stop calling and texting. You tell him to stop. He won’t stop.

What can you do?

First things first: I’m sorry this is happening to you. We’ve helped countless women through divorce in Utah, and this is a common story. The fear you feel is exactly what you should feel.

Here are some things that have been successful for our clients:

  1. Change your phone number.

This may seem drastic, but so is receiving 20 texts per day.

Changing your number doesn’t mean you can’t communicate with your husband. It does mean he is much less likely to harass you.

For future communication, open a new email account. Send your husband an email and let him know you’ll be communicating by email from now on. This almost always ratchets down the harassment and improves communication.

This isn’t a forever solution, but it is effective in times of phone harassment.

  1. Have someone your husband trusts talk to him and ask him to knock it off.

This could be your husband’s best friend, or his mother. Whoever your husband trusts and can speak truth to him will do.

Often, when a trusted third person lets him know he’s harassing and acting crazy, it has a serious impact on his behavior.

  1. Call the police and talk to them about “electronic communication harassment.”

Depending on the amount calls and texts, and what’s in them, your husband may have committed “electronic communication harassment.” That’s a crime.

The police are usually pretty good about helping women who are going through this.

You’ll speak with a police officer who will read your texts and see how often your husband has called.

The officer will likely call your husband (often while your still there talking with the officer) and tell him if he continues doing what he’s doing, he’ll be cited for harassment.

Usually, that one call really helps cool things off. Your husband’s communications will very often change significantly after that call.

If they don’t change, though, go back to the cops.

Electronic Communication Harassment

If you would like to read the Utah definition of electronic communication harassment, here it is:

(2) A person is guilty of electronic communication harassment and subject to prosecution in the jurisdiction where the communication originated or was received if with intent to intimidate, abuse, threaten, harass, frighten, or disrupt the electronic communications of another, the person:

(i) makes repeated contact by means of electronic communications, regardless of whether a conversation ensues; or


(ii) after the recipient has requested or informed the person not to contact the recipient, and the person repeatedly or continuously:

(A) contacts the electronic communication device of the recipient; or


(B) causes an electronic communication device of the recipient to ring or to receive other notification of attempted contact by means of electronic communication;


(b) makes contact by means of electronic communication and insults, taunts, or challenges the recipient of the communication or any person at the receiving location in a manner likely to provoke a violent or disorderly response;


(c) makes contact by means of electronic communication and threatens to inflict injury, physical harm, or damage to any person or the property of any person;


(d) causes disruption, jamming, or overload of an electronic communication system through excessive message traffic or other means utilizing an electronic communication device; or


(e) electronically publishes, posts, or otherwise discloses personal identifying information of another person, in a public online site or forum, without that person’s permission.

Call Brown Family Law

If you find yourself facing a Utah divorce, please call 801.685.9999 for a legal in-person consultation, or use our online scheduling tool.

Published On: April 13th, 2018Categories: Domestic ViolenceComments Off on My Husband Is Calling and Threatening Me; What Can I Do?
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About the Author: Marco Brown
Marco C. Brown was named Utah’s Outstanding Family Law Lawyer of the Year in 2015. He graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska College of Law in 2007 and is currently the managing partner of Brown Family Law, LLC.
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