My Wife Wants to Take the Kids and Leave the State; Should I Let her Move?

You’ve been having problems in your marriage for a while now.

You’ve talked about divorce, but you don’t want it to happen, and your wife says she doesn’t either.

Then, one day, she says she needs space. She wants to take the kids and go live near her parents (it’s almost always near the parents).

You don’t want to upset her because you’re afraid that may bring on divorce, but you don’t want your kids to go with her.

Do you let her leave the state?

Let’s think this through.

In my experience, if a wife leaves and takes the kids with her, there’s a low probably she’s coming back.

In other words, if she leaves, your marriage is most likely over, you just haven’t filed the papers yet.

And if she moves to another state with the kids and doesn’t come back, you’re probably not getting much time with your kids when you do divorce.

Why? Because she holds all the cards.

After 3–6 months in the new state, your wife can file for divorce. You’ll be stuck trying to defend against a divorce in another state hundreds or thousands of miles away. That’s not a recipe for success.

That and if your kids are gone long, the court will let the kids stay with your wife full-time.

That means you’ll see your kids, on average, about three times per year. Usually around Thanksgiving/Christmas, spring break, and part of the summer.

So, in the end, it’s not a good idea to let your wife leave with the kids.

If you want to have your kids with you 50/50, or even if you want to see your kids often, you need to find a way to keep your wife in Utah.

Depending on your situation, that may mean filing for divorce.

Once you file for divorce, the court will very likely keep the kids in Utah until you and your wife are done with the divorce process.

Keeping the kids in the state gives you leverage to negotiate a good parent-time and custody schedule. You’ll be able to see your kids often, not just three times per year.

Bottom line: don’t let her move away with the kids.

Call Brown Family Law

If you find yourself facing a Utah divorce, please call 801.685.9999 for an in-person consultation, or use our online scheduling tool.

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Mack

I would give them 10 stars if I could. Clay was professional and super organized. He took the time to explain everything. I would highly recommend him for any family law needed. Melanie was a godsend. She not only kept me continually informed of the progress, she sent texts of encouragement and support throughout the entire process. I would give her 100 stars for going above and beyond to make this experience less stressful. Her encouragement and genuine caring were comforting and calming. The entire staff at Brown Law are on your side and if you are lucky enough to get Clay and Melanie on your team you will not be disappointed. Thanks! Mack M.

Response from the owner:Wow, thank you so much. Melanie is great. Glad she helped you so well.

Alex Rogers

Nathaniel was an incredible partner throughout the divorce process. He was organized, responsive and respectful of my wishes while simultaneously giving me guidance and advice. I would recommend him to anyone.

Christie Cisneros

I couldn’t have made it through my divorce without Clay and his team! I am forever thankful for the hours and time spent with me to help navigate an extremely difficult time in life. They’re reliable, knowledgeable, and know how to get things moving in an efficient manner. Nothing but good to say here!!

Halie Bates

Working with Daniel Young at Brown Family Law was a truly positive experience during one of the most difficult times of my life. From the start, Daniel was knowledgeable, compassionate, and incredibly responsive.
If you need a family law attorney who combines expertise with empathy, I cannot recommend Daniel Young enough. He is a true advocate and a credit to Brown Family Law.

Jessica Lance

Nathaniel and Carren have been absolutely incredible to work with. They kept me informed and in the loop throughout each step of the process. They always answered every question I had in a very quick and timely manner. I could not recommend them more.

Amy Christensen

This 5-star review is for Nathaniel Garrabrandt at Brown Family Law. Nathaniel was just what we needed. He helped guide us with a level of professionalism, efficiency, and genuine care that made a real difference during a challenging time. He is always thoughtful and respectful, and he never makes you feel like just another case. His communication was clear (with regular check-ins), his advice was solid and uncomplicated, and I always felt that he had his client's best interest at heart as he made suggestions. I’m grateful to have had such a capable and compassionate attorney to work with. You hope you never need these kind of services, but when you do, you want the best... and someone with high integrity. Nathaniel truly deserves all 5 of these stars, in every way.

Kenzie Murphy

Russell Yauney was my attorney at Brown Family Law. Throughout the process, Russell and his paralegal Conor, were extremely helpful and patient. They were highly responsive, thorough, and most importantly: did not make me feel insignificant or embarrassed for asking clarifying questions. Russell made himself available and whenever he wasn't, Conor was. The Friday Phone Calls were reliable and I knew I could expect an update each week. The firm's texting abilities also made it easy to send a quick question/concern if I ever needed it. Russell was a fantastic attorney and guide to have throughout my situation. I highly recommend this firm.