What do divorce clients want? (Hint: It’s not necessarily what you think)

Attorneys are consumed with doing a good job and winning. (Attorneys may say they aren’t competitive, but they really are. It’s what keeps them motivated.)

Normally, however, they don’t really worry about the style in which they win. If they win by not saying a word to the judge, they’re happy because they won. If they say too much in court, they’re happy because they won. If they show up twenty minutes late and win, they’re happy because they won.

Clients on the other hand, want and expect certain things of their attorneys. Those things might have nothing to do with winning, but they want them anyway.

Here are a few things I’ve noticed clients want their divorce attorneys to do, especially in court:

  1. Arrive on time.
  2. Talk a lot.
  3. (Related to #2) Counter every wrong thing the other guy says.
  4. (Related to #2) Restate everything written in the pleadings.

Now, none of these four things really has much to do with winning. In fact, numbers two through four are often inversely correlated to winning. (Related aside: I can predict how well I do in front of one particular commissioner by how much I have to talk. If I don’t talk much, I win. If I have to explain things in detail, I often lose.)

But none of this matters to many clients. Items one through four are what they expect because these are what they see on TV.

Law & Order Syndrome

I call these expectations the Law & Order Syndrome.

Jack McCoy never showed up late to a hearing. (His motorcycle probably had something to do with that.) He was never at a loss for words. On the contrary, he always had more than enough to say in every situation. And, since it’s television, Jack had to say everything because showing a judge reading a legal memorandum that took five hours to prepare isn’t good for sweeps week.

This syndrome causes real, and sometimes serious, problems.

I’ve seen clients win 90% of everything they wanted, and, instead of focusing on their victories, they complain that their attorneys were five minutes late to the hearing. I’ve seen a client win every issue, but be upset because the attorney didn’t speak as much as the client thought the attorney should have. (I mean, the attorney won every issue, and the client was upset because the attorney’s style didn’t match what their TV-driven expectation. Think about that.)

So, there’s somewhat of a fundamental disconnect between what clients expect and what attorneys strive to deliver and how they deliver it.

How to deal with Law & Order Syndrome

How should attorneys handle this? As I see it, there are two primary ways:

  1. Ignore the issue.
  2. Explain your style upfront and how it may differ from what the client expects.

The first option will lead you to the problems mentioned above. If you ignore the issue, no matter how good you are, and no matter how much you win, your clients will always be disappointed because how you win does not meet expectations. It makes no sense, but it’s what happens. Expectations are more important than reality in many cases.

The second option lets you get out in front of the issue. When you tell people how you lawyer and how that might be different from their expectations, you change their thinking. Now, when they see you practice law consistent with what you said, they focus on your successes and not your style.

Under this scenario, you’re simply a genius, instead of the guy who didn’t act like Jack McCoy.

In the end, know your style and convey it to your clients upfront. It sure beats winning, only to get castigated for winning wrong.

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Marco and his team at Brown Family Law have created nearly the perfect system for getting divorced in Utah. From the initial intake, to gathering all of the necessary documentation, to the client communication in between. There is so much work that goes into getting divorced, but with Marco and his team you'll always know where you are in the process and what happens next, which is such a comfort. Would highly recommend.
I would give them 10 stars if I could. Clay was professional and super organized. He took the time to explain everything. I would highly recommend him for any family law needed. Melanie was a godsend. She not only kept me continually informed of the progress, she sent texts of encouragement and support throughout the entire process. I would give her 100 stars for going above and beyond to make this experience less stressful. Her encouragement and genuine caring were comforting and calming. The entire staff at Brown Law are on your side and if you are lucky enough to get Clay and Melanie on your team you will not be disappointed. Thanks! Mack M.
Response from the owner:Wow, thank you so much. Melanie is great. Glad she helped you so well.
Nathaniel was an incredible partner throughout the divorce process. He was organized, responsive and respectful of my wishes while simultaneously giving me guidance and advice. I would recommend him to anyone.
I couldn’t have made it through my divorce without Clay and his team! I am forever thankful for the hours and time spent with me to help navigate an extremely difficult time in life. They’re reliable, knowledgeable, and know how to get things moving in an efficient manner. Nothing but good to say here!!
Working with Daniel Young at Brown Family Law was a truly positive experience during one of the most difficult times of my life. From the start, Daniel was knowledgeable, compassionate, and incredibly responsive.
If you need a family law attorney who combines expertise with empathy, I cannot recommend Daniel Young enough. He is a true advocate and a credit to Brown Family Law.
Nathaniel and Carren have been absolutely incredible to work with. They kept me informed and in the loop throughout each step of the process. They always answered every question I had in a very quick and timely manner. I could not recommend them more.
This 5-star review is for Nathaniel Garrabrandt at Brown Family Law. Nathaniel was just what we needed. He helped guide us with a level of professionalism, efficiency, and genuine care that made a real difference during a challenging time. He is always thoughtful and respectful, and he never makes you feel like just another case. His communication was clear (with regular check-ins), his advice was solid and uncomplicated, and I always felt that he had his client's best interest at heart as he made suggestions. I’m grateful to have had such a capable and compassionate attorney to work with. You hope you never need these kind of services, but when you do, you want the best... and someone with high integrity. Nathaniel truly deserves all 5 of these stars, in every way.
Russell Yauney was my attorney at Brown Family Law. Throughout the process, Russell and his paralegal Conor, were extremely helpful and patient. They were highly responsive, thorough, and most importantly: did not make me feel insignificant or embarrassed for asking clarifying questions. Russell made himself available and whenever he wasn't, Conor was. The Friday Phone Calls were reliable and I knew I could expect an update each week. The firm's texting abilities also made it easy to send a quick question/concern if I ever needed it. Russell was a fantastic attorney and guide to have throughout my situation. I highly recommend this firm.
This law firm went above and beyond for me and my case. I would highly recommend them to anyone needing a good lawyer for custody issues.
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