How Long Should You Stay Single After a Divorce?

Data collected by an app that predicts how long people stay single suggest that an average person has:

How Long Should You Stay Single After a Divorce?
  • A 25% chance of getting into a new relationship after 7 months
  • A 50% chance of getting into a new relationship after 20 months
  • A 75% chance of getting into a new relationship after 40 months

The survey implies that a divorced person’s chances of getting into a new relationship increase as time goes by. That said, people are made differently and the time taken by a person to get over a divorce can range anywhere from a few months (weeks, perhaps) to a few years, depending upon the person’s psychological make-up, and how intense, loving, and long the marriage was.

Some people can get involved in a new relationship within a few weeks after divorce, while others may already have been involved in another relationship before or during the divorce, whereas some may take months or years to find a new partner. As they say, to each his own.

Our team of divorce attorneys dives into this subject since entering into a new relationship before or during the divorce can impact alimony negotiations and child custody matters. Based on the feedback received, we have discovered that the following factors determine how long a divorced person may remain single before entering into a new relationship:

Psychology of the Spouse

People have different types of personalities. They can be creative, intense, sober, calm, optimists, pessimists, obsessive, aloof, introverted, extroverted, etc. Creative and optimist people are more likely to shed their “single” status quicker than the other types, depending upon the degree of their creativity and optimism. On the other hand, people who are intense, pessimistic, and sober can clam up and take years to enter into a new relationship.

Political Choices

Americans are divided 50/50 (almost) on liberalism and conservatism – and politics is a massive hot potato these days. Disagreements can lead to trolling and online fights, while agreements can lead to a meeting of the minds. Politics is a quirky thing that can rip apart families or turn strangers into soul mates. Therefore, if a grieving spouse with a huge interest in politics comes across another lonely soul whose political views align, cupid can strike immediately.

Employment

Spouses who sacrificed their careers for the sake of marriage may choose to stay single after divorce until they upgrade their professional skills and get a new job, or they may enter into a relationship with someone who already has a steady job. If one has a good job or is otherwise financially independent, after divorce he/she may not stay single for long. On the other hand, if the person has led a  secluded life most of the time, then he/she may take longer to get into a meaningful relationship.

Lifestyle

If a person leads a flamboyant lifestyle, socializes often, travels frequently, is not finicky, or has a huge network of friends, he/she is likely to find a new partner rather quickly after divorce. The more exposed a divorced person is to people, the quicker he/she is likely to find a new partner.

Questions You Should Ask Before Getting Into a New Relationship

Before finding a new partner after divorce, consider taking the following questions into account:

  • If I announce a new relationship, will it impact child custody and alimony issues?
  • Am I dating for the right reasons, or just taking revenge on my ex-spouse?
  • Are there any scams that can harm online daters? (If you have started looking for a new partner online)
  • How will my child or family react to my new partner?
  • How long will it take to decide if my new partner is trustworthy?

With all this said, marriage is supposed to be a life-long commitment and divorce is a tragic event that should not be treated casually. It is painful to break the solemn vows that spouses take during the wedding, and therefore, before deciding to take the big step towards divorce, we urge all spouses to review their married life, slot problems into minor, average, and serious categories, and try to resolve issues if they are indeed resolvable, before consulting a family law attorney.

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About the Author: Marco Brown
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Marco C. Brown was named Utah’s Outstanding Family Law Lawyer of the Year in 2015. He graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska College of Law in 2007 and is currently the managing partner of Brown Family Law, LLC.
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