Is it Better to Divorce or Stay Unhappily Married?

Is it Better to Divorce or Stay Unhappily Married?
It may be better to divorce rather than stay unhappily married, because a miserable marriage can:

  1. Adversely impact health
  2. Psychologically impact children
  3. Create a toxic atmosphere that leads to a communication breakdown
  4. Deprive a spouse of an opportunity of meeting a compatible partner
  5. Create a hopeless situation
  6. Make both spouses create a fake-reality

According to the 2020 survey by Happiness Index, 82% of couples were happy in their relationship even though they disagreed on some issues 50% of the time. Nonetheless, some 18% of the surveyed couples continued to stay unhappily married rather than divorcing.

Whatever may be the reason for unhappiness in a marriage, some psychologists and researchers opine that it might be better to divorce than stay unhappily married. And here are the possible reasons why:

An Unhappy Marriage Adversely Impacts Health

Researchers at the universities of Nevada and Michigan investigated whether an unhappy marriage can harm health. They found that chronically unhappy couples were plagued by health issues such as changes in appetite, inflammation, secretion of excessive stress hormones, nervousness, lower immunity levels, disturbed sleep patterns, headaches, and even heart problems.

High-Conflict Unhappy Marriages Impact Children Psychologically

Children, no matter how young they are, can easily sense trouble brewing at home and get very disturbed at the sight of their parents quarreling. Now, quarreling is a normal part of marriage, but when the quarreling turns into constant fighting and conflict, the tension can impact children’s mental health and make them feel troubled and anxious, at home as well as outside. The psychological scars left from the fighting and tension between the parents can continue to devastate them even in their adult life.

Children from homes in which there is significant, ongoing parental conflict  can grow into aggressive, angry, or emotionally immature adults with a negative attitude. Moreover, they may not trust others and have very low self-esteem. They may even resort to substance abuse at a young age in these circumstances.

Communication Breakdown in a Toxic Atmosphere

Spouses often criticize each other and even get abusive in an unhappy marriage. They indulge in more negativity than positivity. Aggressive defense, sharp criticism, verbal (or physical) attacks that irritate or hurt, fiery arguments, and more such unpleasant behaviors lead to a very toxic and unfriendly atmosphere at home.

Over time, such couples grow distant and stop (or limit) communicating with each other because they know the outcome will be unpleasant and negative. They seek an exit and feel happier when they are alone.

Inability to Find Someone Compatible

Staying put in a toxic marriage deprives the spouse of meeting a better partner for life. They stay cooped up and hemmed in, play victim, sulk all the time, and generally waste away a life that could be happier and productive if they end the current relationship and find their Ms/Mr. Right.

Starting a new life may appear daunting, but it is sometimes better than staying in a bad marriage.

An Unhappy Marriage Causes Hopelessness

People expect good things out of a marriage – compatibility, happy family with children playing around, a sense of security, family time, hopes for a bright future, happiness, and growing old together.

A toxic marriage delivers just the opposite and leads to a hopeless situation and a feeling of despair. When hopelessness gets extreme, it can trigger even suicidal thoughts.

Faking It

Many couples fake it and stretch out a bad marriage, maybe because rather than their own happiness they care more about what society, their friends, and relations may think of them if they break the marriage. The reality, however, is quite different – neighbors and distant relations hardly care about what may be going on in anyone else’s life. In fact, they may actually be chipping in to make matters worse by spreading scandalous gossip in the couple’s social circle. As far as close relations and friends are concerned, what matters to them is the happiness of their loved ones at any cost.

So, it doesn’t make any sense to continue living an unhappy life and pretend life for the sake of others.

A successful divorce ends conflicts and can bring hope and happiness to both the spouses and their children. Divorce is always a difficult decision, but sometimes it is worth going for one rather than hanging around in an unhappy marriage.

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About the Author: Marco Brown
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Marco C. Brown was named Utah’s Outstanding Family Law Lawyer of the Year in 2015. He graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska College of Law in 2007 and is currently the managing partner of Brown Family Law, LLC.

WHAT OUR CLIENTS SAY AND WHY

Check out what some of our real life clients had to say about working with Brown Family Law

Brown Family Law
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4.8
Based on 833 reviews
Sophie was an amazing person to work with. She helped walk me through many of my concerns I had in a clear and concise manner. She regularly followed and reached out with me, making me feel like not just another number.
Response from the owner: Thank you, and so glad Sophie communicated so well with you.
Ray did an outstanding job. Would highly recommend.
Response from the owner: Michael, glad Ray did such a good job for you.
Had an hour consultation. Answered all the questions I had, explained everything in an understandable way and followed up.
Response from the owner: Glad we were able to help, Ariel.
Carren and Jason were very helpful and quick to respond to my questions and concerns as we worked through my divorce, I would recommend them to anyone.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Bill.
I cannot say enough good things about Brown Family Law. Amy was my attorney and she was great! She always listened and responded quickly. Thanks to her, my case was resolved quickly. Thank you, Amy.
Response from the owner: Glad Amy communicated so well with you, James.
Fast and kept me involved. Very professional team.
Response from the owner: Jace, thank you.
Best attorney ever. They were so helpful and responsive
Response from the owner: Thank you, Shaun.
When I started my case with Brown Family Law, they had 650 positive reviews. Now, about a year later, they have 820. Not sure how much else you need to convince you, but do yourself a favor and stop looking. You're in the right place.We worked with Nathaniel for nearly a year on our case, and trusting someone with something so vulnerable and close to you as a custody case is difficult, but he made it easy. His knowledge of law and experience with the court system allowed us to make educated decisions quicker. He helped me feel confident in very unfamiliar territory, and having someone like Nate on my team allowed me to make the best decisions possible for our family. He thought of many things I didn't, and gave us the roadmap to success for navigating a complicated and stressful situation. I found myself constantly bragging about our lawyer to family and expressing how impressed I was in his skill and his fearless nature of getting sh** done. Nate got that dawg in him, yanno what I mean?I like the way Brown Family Law works with their clients; it's different than other law firms, and I can see the benefits of those differences. It's always easy to contact someone at the office, and I get a response very quickly. They are extremely communicative, fast, and thorough. They run a tight ship, and it's obvious the quality differences from other law firms.This is a big and heavy decision, but Brown Family Law will take a lot of that weight off your shoulders. Ask for Nate--you won't be led astray.
Response from the owner: Christie, thank you. So glad Nathaniel was able to help you and that we were able to communicate with you so quickly.
This firm is awesome but special shoutout to Dani, she is an outstanding paralegal. She is very knowledgeable
Response from the owner: Thank you very much for your kind words about Dani.
I can't say enough about Russell Yauney at Brown Family Law! He has helped me on multiple cases over the years and has always exceeded my expectations. Russell is one of the good guys who isn't afraid to tell you how it is and isn't afraid to stand up and fight for what is right. I'm glad that I have Russell and his team in my corner!
Response from the owner: Karl, glad Russell served you well.
very helpful to fathers who have been broke by the system and targeted for vaporization(1984). Thank you brown family law.
Response from the owner: You're welcome, Ryan. And thank you for the kind words.
Nathaniel was my attorney and I couldn't ask for someone more attentive and level-headed than he is. They made my divorce process so much easier and were very patient with me as I navigated the entire process. Thank you Brown Family Law for all of your help!
Response from the owner: Samantha, thank you and so glad Nathaniel did such a good job for you.
Used Nathaniel Garrabrandt for a child custody case. He is very good, very professional and available. Having been through this a few times that communication is very important. The only warning, and this isnt just Nate per se, but very very costly.
Response from the owner: Danny, thank you for recommendation. Glad Nathaniel has been able to help you.
I've witnessed firsthand how Brown Family Law works hard to care for their clients. They train their staff and attorneys on more than just the law, but how to serve clients with care and integrity.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Amber.
Amber McFee Super hard working , determined, while always fight for what is right
Response from the owner: Glad we could help.
Lei was something special. She was very understanding of our situation and her advice and listening ear made our decision and path forward clear. Thank you!
Response from the owner: Adam, you're welcome, and thank you.
Andrew did a great on my case. Communication was consistent, to the point and he kept me well informed. I also had the pleasure working with Clay. Top notch firm, very confident, and I would highly recommend them if you want to win. Thanks again team ~D
Response from the owner: Dan, thank you, and glad Andrew helped you so well.
Lei the office manager helped tremendously with all hiccups that we ran into and was very responsive and knowledgeable! She is a Rockstar and makes Brown Family Law worthy of 5 stars
Response from the owner: Thank you.
Sierra was so helpful right from the moment she answered our call. She gave all her support and resources and made sure to ask if we needed anything else before moving forward. Thank you so much!
Response from the owner: Thank you, Mel. Glad Sierra was able to help.
I would hands down suggest Brown Family Law. Nathaniel helped me with my divorce, and he was very knowlegeable and knows his stuff. He helped me file a motion, get somethings changed in the original decree, helped me understand the terms they use, helped me understand how child support is calculated along is all the financial aspects associated with divorce case. He also is very responsive to phone calls and emails which was very helpful whenever I had small questions. Thank you Nathaniel!
Response from the owner: Andrew, thank you for your kind words.
I can’t say enough good things about Brown Family Law, but more specifically, my lawyer David Handy and his paralegal Dani. They are kind and honest and always available to me when I’ve needed them! This is such an exhausting time and they alleviated all of my stress by taking control. I could trust the process knowing I was in great hands!!! The entire law firm works as a team to take care of you! I can’t recommend them enough! Thank you!!!
Response from the owner: Ryan, so glad David and Dani served you so well and alleviated your stress.
They handled my case with the highest degree of professionalism and integrity and made every effort to be efficient and transparent with me throughout the whole process. I was told that they were the best as far as family law is concerned and I believe that praise was fully justified.
Response from the owner: Ben, thank you.
Amber McFee is always professional and great to work with. Being opposing counsel by nature is adversarial, but Amber is professional in approach while effectively advocating for her clients. She will treat you right!
Response from the owner: Thank you, Jonathan.
Overall from start to finish the best experience to have dealing with a time that is difficult.Andrew Christensen is very professional and out going to make this situation the best it could be and worked hard to make sure the divorce was fair for me.Over all, this firm really cares and treats you as a family or friend and just not a client, down to Marco Brown taking time to see how I was doing and offer to help in any way possible during my divorce while I was there for my first initial meeting.I would highly recommend anyone that has to go through a divorce to really reach out to the Brown Family Law firm and see for your self the experience I was able to receive from a top notch law firm.
Response from the owner: Devin, thank you for the kind words. Andrew appreciated the opportunity to help you with your situation.
Sophie was very helpful and explains the process and fees. Thank you!
Response from the owner: Corey, thank you for the kind words. Glad we could help.
Dani always kept me updated and has great communication skills.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Sofia.
Dani was extremely helpful and always responsive.
Response from the owner: Glad Dani did well for you.
My experience with Brown Family Law is a positive one. I highly recommend them. This firm has very good communication with their clients. Attorney Paul Waldron represents me and I’m very happy with the experience. My questions and concerns are always answered quickly and respectfully. I’m grateful to have Mr. Waldron and Brown Family Law in my corner during this difficult time for my family.
Response from the owner: Jodie, glad we were able to communicate with you so effectively and quickly. Thank you for your kind words.
Dani excelled as a paralegal, providing crucial support with exceptional skills!
Response from the owner: Glad Dani did such a good job for you.
Thank you So much
Response from the owner: You're welcome. Thank you for choosing us to help you.
I highly recommend Nathaniel and his team. They listened to me, navigated me, educated me, and always called when they said they would. Going through a divorce was very hard but they helped me get through it and showed compassion the whole time.
Response from the owner: Amy, thank you for your recommendation, and glad we could help you through your divorce.
They were helpful with clarifying some issues regarding my divorce decree while navigating the modification to another state
Response from the owner: Glad we could help.
I consulted with Nathaniel regarding a legal issue from Utah that had implications in another state. He was very quick to respond. I found him to be extremely knowledgeable and helpful regarding the issues. Would highly recommend him for anyone looking for a Utah based attorney.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Trey.
Anne-Greyson and Melanie were FANTASTIC to work with. They went above and beyond what I needed and kept in constant contact. I am incredibly grateful for their help and support in handling my case. Professional, kind, detail oriented - I cannot say enough good. Thank you so much!
Response from the owner: Jennifer, so glad Anne-Greyson and Melanie were able to help you.
The team at Brown Family Law is highly skilled and very supportive. The intake process was very personalized and validating and the welcoming receptionist was exceptionally friendly and helpful in setting up my account and processing my retainer and payments. Dani provided consistent and frequent communication and kept in touch with me from beginning to end. Paul is very wise in his decision-making and extremely personalized in navigating complex and sensitive post divorce needs and decree modifications to protect myself and my children.
Response from the owner: Jason, thank you so much for your kind review. Glad Paul was able to help you.
My lawyer Amy Pomeroy, paralegals Dani Blandon, Kody Harvey, Melanie Cramer, and their team were great to work with during a very difficult time. Their expertise and professionalism was very highly appreciated. Their communication was excellent and I was kept in the loop throughout the whole process. Highly recommended if you need legal representation during a divorce.
Response from the owner: David, thank you for your kind words. So glad we could help.
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At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.