The top 5 signs of a lying spouse are:
- Unusual communication
- Strange body language
- Contradictions and unverifiable statements
- Getting unusually defensive
- Growing distant
Data suggest that 53% of Americans keep financial secrets from their partner, 27% lie about their finances, and 22.1% cheat on their partners and do not admit it. Every lie stays alive between the time it is spoken and the time it is admitted, which means the percentages above can significantly bump up if we take the non-admittance period into account.
Whatever the percentages are, and whatever the severity of the lie is (harmless or significant), a major lie has the potential to destroy trust and weaken marital relationships. Here are the top 5 signs that reveal a lying spouse:
A spouse may be lying if he/she:
- Changes tone, uses a high pitch, or turns to faster speech delivery while trying to prove a point during a conversation. It suggests that the spouse is uncomfortable about something.
- Changes her/his usual style of communication without any known event triggering the change.
- Posts something on social media and tells you something else.
- Suggests that you are lying despite your placing the facts and the truth on the table.
- Is vague or evasive about details or tries to dismiss something important as trivial.
Strange Body Language
- Shifting eyes while communicating.
- Avoiding eye contact or reducing it substantially.
- Excessively touching oneself (psychologists opine that adults often touch their eyes, nose, ears, or mouth to calm themselves down when they are lying).
- Squirming or fidgeting with feet or hands.
- Psychologists say that a truthful person gestures while speaking, while liars gesture after they speak.
- Rising shoulders and heavy breathing while speaking also suggest that a lie may be in progress.
Contradictions and Unverifiable Statements
Liars often keep building on their lies and lose track of what they said earlier. Contradictions follow soon enough.
Liars add unverifiable fiction to their stories, and when a spouse tells a story that is loaded with details that cannot be proven or disproven, she/he may be telling a lie.
Getting Unusually Defensive
A spouse can insist she/he is telling the truth, or can keep distorting or denying facts, to the extent that you find it hard to believe her/his version of events (unless there is a simple enough explanation that you’re overlooking).
When a lying spouse’s story is confronted with facts, she/he can get angry and hostile, and try to deflect the blame. Liars often snap and react with hostility when they are jolted out of their comfort zone, and get unusually defensive.
Marital relationships are supposed to be open and transparent. When a spouse lies, she/he may get distant from you because liars obviously don’t want their lies to get caught and prefer to keep their lies under wraps.
You are likely to see through a lying spouse if she/he displays any of the signs discussed above. However, know that all humans are different and there is no fixed method to spot someone’s lies. It all boils down to how well you can see through people, how much you can rely on your instincts, and whether you know your spouse like the back of your hand to see through any deviations.