When Should You Walk Away from Your Marriage?

You may consider walking away from your marriage when you experience one or more of the following:

When Should You Walk Away from Your Marriage?
  1. When there is no respect left
  2. When there is no trust left
  3. When your spouse is abusive
  4. When communication between the spouses breaks down completely
  5. When physical and emotional intimacy become extinct
  6. When your gut, heart, and brain tell you to move out

An unhappy or traumatic marriage can adversely impact your job, health, and other relationships, including those with your children. In some cases where the damage is minimal or average, it may be worth saving the marriage, but in those cases that are beyond repair, it could be better to move on. Here are the signs that tell you when you may consider walking away.

When There is No Respect Left

Having respect for your spouse means that you think before you act or speak, are courteous, respectful, supportive, and positive. More importantly, it means that you seriously consider your spouse’s opinion, decide jointly on important matters, celebrate individual or joint victories, motivate each other, understand your spouse’s potential, ambitions, and goals, and hold your spouse’s values and principles in high esteem. It also means that you are not rude, disrespectful, dismissive, negative, or neglectful.

Of course, no marriage is without its problems, but even when there is an argument, both spouses can debate it coolly instead of entering into an unpleasant heated argument. As time goes by, spouses tend to start taking each other for granted, which is quite natural so long as mutual respect is intact. But when the respect they once had for each other declines, irritation, conflicts, anger, negativity, and frustrations creep in. If the marriage reaches a point where mutual respect is completely lost, or if the constant fights, insults, and sarcasm kill your self-esteem and destroy your self-confidence, and earlier happy times together cannot be retrieved no matter how hard either spouse tries, it may be time to move on.

When there is No Trust Left

A marriage is a commitment for life, and therefore trust plays an important role in its longevity. Confiding in and trusting your spouse implies that you feel that you are in a safe, happy, secure, committed, and supportive environment that makes you feel extremely comfortable.

Trust may be broken for many reasons, such as infidelity, disrespectfulness, lying, cheating, changing attitudes, and more. When your trust in the person you love is broken, it leaves you vulnerable, weak, and suspicious. Your opinion too may cease to matter. You and your spouse can consider counseling to get your married life back on track. If, however, your spouse is unwilling to cooperate, or if the problem resurfaces vigorously after the counseling sessions, it may perhaps be time to consider walking away.

When Your Spouse is Abusive

Your spouse can verbally or physically abuse you for any reason – for example, the spouse may be having a psychological or mental disorder, may have been abused by others in childhood, has anger or control issues, has an addiction, lacks empathy, etc. Abuse begins with arguments and then reaches a point where it can turn physical. Even disagreeing with your spouse can make you feel you are doing everything wrong.

If you are abused and are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The bigger thing is that an emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive marriage is not acceptable, and that if you are convinced that the abusive spouse is beyond redemption, please consider walking away.

When Communication between the Spouses Breaks Down

In a marriage, communication is as important as trust. Effective and honest verbal and non-verbal communication that conveys trust, love, affection, understanding, and agreement is one of the pillars of marriage.

Communicating often and effectively can keep the marriage happy, strong, wholesome, caring, and healthy. Communication suffers when trust breaks down or when the marriage is impacted by other factors. There are many ways of repairing a communication breakdown, including toning down aggression, becoming a patient listener, processing feelings before speaking, not yelling, walking away from a fight, not sulking or staying silent, consulting a counselor, etc.

When every attempt to repair the communication breakdown fails, indifference sets in, and all reasonable hope fades away, it may be time to move on.

When Physical and Emotional Intimacy Become Extinct

Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are linked together in a marriage. Emotional intimacy lays the foundation and builds the relationship, while physical intimacy develops it and perpetuates it. Some marriages without physical intimacy (sexless marriages) can survive for a period of time but not forever, and a marriage without emotional intimacy is also very likely to fail. A high level of emotional intimacy ensures that the couple is forthright, honest, connected, happy, comfortable, and satisfied with each other.

Emotional intimacy dies because of ego issues, conflicts, resentment, or any other reason. When it starts dying, spouses grow distant and start feeling lonely; they become cold, non-communicative, non-empathetic, argumentative, unsupportive, and nervous. Lack of emotional intimacy can also kill physical intimacy.

Therefore, when emotional intimacy dies taking along physical intimacy with it, and reaches a point of no return, you can consider walking away from the marriage.

When Your Gut, Heart, and Brain Tell You to Move Out

When your gut feeling, heart, and brain convey that the future of the marriage is bleak and hopeless, and nothing can be done to make it bright, it may be time to heed that feeling. Of course, you can consider giving it one last chance by addressing the most important issue that is impacting the marriage. But if the marriage cannot be repaired despite your best last-ditch effort, then there may be no point hanging around any longer.

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About the Author: Keith Bruss
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Clay was great to work with! He was very willing to explain everything I needed to know and helped me understand the options on my case. Very easy to work with.
Jennifer and Dani, as well the rest of the team went above and beyond when it came to my case.
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Marco and his team at Brown Family Law have created nearly the perfect system for getting divorced in Utah. From the initial intake, to gathering all of the necessary documentation, to the client communication in between. There is so much work that goes into getting divorced, but with Marco and his team you'll always know where you are in the process and what happens next, which is such a comfort. Would highly recommend.
I would give them 10 stars if I could. Clay was professional and super organized. He took the time to explain everything. I would highly recommend him for any family law needed. Melanie was a godsend. She not only kept me continually informed of the progress, she sent texts of encouragement and support throughout the entire process. I would give her 100 stars for going above and beyond to make this experience less stressful. Her encouragement and genuine caring were comforting and calming. The entire staff at Brown Law are on your side and if you are lucky enough to get Clay and Melanie on your team you will not be disappointed. Thanks! Mack M.
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Nathaniel was an incredible partner throughout the divorce process. He was organized, responsive and respectful of my wishes while simultaneously giving me guidance and advice. I would recommend him to anyone.
I couldn’t have made it through my divorce without Clay and his team! I am forever thankful for the hours and time spent with me to help navigate an extremely difficult time in life. They’re reliable, knowledgeable, and know how to get things moving in an efficient manner. Nothing but good to say here!!
Working with Daniel Young at Brown Family Law was a truly positive experience during one of the most difficult times of my life. From the start, Daniel was knowledgeable, compassionate, and incredibly responsive.
If you need a family law attorney who combines expertise with empathy, I cannot recommend Daniel Young enough. He is a true advocate and a credit to Brown Family Law.
Nathaniel and Carren have been absolutely incredible to work with. They kept me informed and in the loop throughout each step of the process. They always answered every question I had in a very quick and timely manner. I could not recommend them more.
This 5-star review is for Nathaniel Garrabrandt at Brown Family Law. Nathaniel was just what we needed. He helped guide us with a level of professionalism, efficiency, and genuine care that made a real difference during a challenging time. He is always thoughtful and respectful, and he never makes you feel like just another case. His communication was clear (with regular check-ins), his advice was solid and uncomplicated, and I always felt that he had his client's best interest at heart as he made suggestions. I’m grateful to have had such a capable and compassionate attorney to work with. You hope you never need these kind of services, but when you do, you want the best... and someone with high integrity. Nathaniel truly deserves all 5 of these stars, in every way.
Russell Yauney was my attorney at Brown Family Law. Throughout the process, Russell and his paralegal Conor, were extremely helpful and patient. They were highly responsive, thorough, and most importantly: did not make me feel insignificant or embarrassed for asking clarifying questions. Russell made himself available and whenever he wasn't, Conor was. The Friday Phone Calls were reliable and I knew I could expect an update each week. The firm's texting abilities also made it easy to send a quick question/concern if I ever needed it. Russell was a fantastic attorney and guide to have throughout my situation. I highly recommend this firm.
This law firm went above and beyond for me and my case. I would highly recommend them to anyone needing a good lawyer for custody issues.
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Brown Family Law is very professional. They use their phenomenal expertise to manage every case with care. I would highly recommend them.
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My attorney Andrew Christensen was great! He was very helpful while being realistic and upfront with me at the initial consultation. He did a great job of guiding me and answering any questions I had throughout the whole process. My paralegal Carren Leavitt was also very helpful. I appreciated her weekly check-ins, for the aid she provided, and the questions answered.
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I highly recommend Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law. If you are going through a divorce and your parental rights are being falsely challenged they are a great option. Nathaniel and Brown family law are professional, very knowledgeable, and know how to navigate within the broken and biased Utah family law court system. They were highly communicative throughout the process. They can potentially save you a lot of time and money if lawfare is being waged against you.
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Clay Randle was great and I would highly recommend him for an attorney.
Russell was my Lawyer at Brown Family Law. He helped me through my multiple cases after my divorce. He was very responsive whenever I had questions about my cases or understanding how the law works. Russell was respectful of how he used my retainer and always gave me good sound advice even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I highly recommend his services if you’re looking for a top notch Family lawyer! 5 out of 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I recently engaged Andrew to review my divorce decree that was finalized in another state. He gave me excellent advice. I did not feel pressured to proceed one way or another. Instead, he gave me very reasonable scenarios to consider and allowed me to proceed down the path that felt most comfortable to me.
Clay Randle with Brown Family Law was excellent! I love the way the procedures with this company are organized. The attorney calls every Friday to check in with you so there’s no phone tag. Questions are answered very timely every week. Clay was very prompt in responding to emails. He was also great to “read the room” or the situation rather. Throughout the divorce, where grace was extended and healthy negotiation prevailed, he appeared to navigate the process in a calm and skillful way. I could see how he definitely had the capacity to respond in a more contentious, emotionally charged way if needed. He encouraged healthy boundaries with the splitting of assets and he understood both sides of what could happen if asking for a specific thing in the divorce. During a painful situation, Clay was able to crack some (tasteful) jokes and tried to keep a heavy situation feel a little less heavy. Couples seeking a divorce would be wise to choose Brown Family Law. They will be in great hands.
I wholeheartedly recommend Andrew Christensen to anyone facing a divorce or custody battle. His passion and thoroughness as a divorce and custody attorney are truly exceptional. You’d think his name was on the firm’s door with the way he handles business—pouring his heart and expertise into every detail, even though it’s not his firm! From our first meeting, Andrew went far beyond a typical consultation, taking the time to listen, understand my situation, and craft a strategy that led to a successful outcome in my custody case. His dedication, compassion, and meticulous approach make him stand out. If you need an attorney who will fight for you like it’s personal, Andrew is the one to call!
I absolutely believe that Brown Family Law is the best divorce attorney law firm in Utah. Attorney Ray Hingson did a fantastic job for me in a complicated divorce. He was there to guide me through the entire process. Ray touched base with me every week AND every time I called with worries or concerns. He handled things confidently and professionally. He took time to meet with me and explain everything so I could understand it. I felt like he really cared and wanted to do his best for me. His paralegal, Carren Leavitt, was also extremely helpful. All I had to do was pick up the phone and call her and she arranged a time for Ray to call me right back. She was always prompt and caring. I couldn't be happier!
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I couldn’t have done it without Nathaniel Garrabrandt and the Brown Family Law truly the best experience and people to work with thank you!!
Brown Family Law is likely the most outstanding Family Law office in Utah. They care deeply about each client, responds quickly to every client question and concerns. If anyone is in a situation of divorce and/or child custody, I highly recommend this office to assist you with your rights. They stand firmly behind their clients.
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Leilani Whitmer was my attorney for mediation day at the provo 4th district court on May 9th and absolutely knocked it out of the park. She made the process so smooth and easy I'd recommend her for any family law issue you could possibly fathom.
Clay Randle is absolutely amazing, well educated, knowledgeable lawyer. He’s approached, always makes sure you’re on the top of the situation and very helpful. I’ve had a pleasure working with him and I recommend him as your top notch attorney.
Brown Family Law has been wonderful to work with! Extremely knowledgeable and professional. Clay went the extra effort in everything he did for us. Couldn’t be more pleased!! I highly recommend their services.
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Great support, Russell and Connor were amazing and got my case dismissed in only 2 months. Great communication with weekly calls. Easy to work with and were very conscious on not overspending my budget. Great team.
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You get what you pay for, and the Brown Family team is worth every penny. We truly appreciated their team-based approach, making sure that every detail of our case was thoughtfully handled. They were incredibly easy to work with, kept us informed throughout the process, and made sure no question ever went unanswered. By far the best family attorneys I’ve worked with, and the only ones I’ll call if I ever need legal help again.
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David Handy is my attorney and he is excellent. He understands my cases and is well informed to defend my needs and the needs of my kids. He is supportive and compassionate. Telling me how things are and what to expect. He does very well with my high conflict cases (protective order and divorce). I highly recommend him and the Brown Family Law firm. Everyone I have talked to is helpful. Especially Conor Schetzel who is currently the paralegal on my cases.
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What Makes Us Different

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.

At Brown Family Law, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.