When Should You Walk Away from Your Marriage?

You may consider walking away from your marriage when you experience one or more of the following:

When Should You Walk Away from Your Marriage?
  1. When there is no respect left
  2. When there is no trust left
  3. When your spouse is abusive
  4. When communication between the spouses breaks down completely
  5. When physical and emotional intimacy become extinct
  6. When your gut, heart, and brain tell you to move out

An unhappy or traumatic marriage can adversely impact your job, health, and other relationships, including those with your children. In some cases where the damage is minimal or average, it may be worth saving the marriage, but in those cases that are beyond repair, it could be better to move on. Here are the signs that tell you when you may consider walking away.

When There is No Respect Left

Having respect for your spouse means that you think before you act or speak, are courteous, respectful, supportive, and positive. More importantly, it means that you seriously consider your spouse’s opinion, decide jointly on important matters, celebrate individual or joint victories, motivate each other, understand your spouse’s potential, ambitions, and goals, and hold your spouse’s values and principles in high esteem. It also means that you are not rude, disrespectful, dismissive, negative, or neglectful.

Of course, no marriage is without its problems, but even when there is an argument, both spouses can debate it coolly instead of entering into an unpleasant heated argument. As time goes by, spouses tend to start taking each other for granted, which is quite natural so long as mutual respect is intact. But when the respect they once had for each other declines, irritation, conflicts, anger, negativity, and frustrations creep in. If the marriage reaches a point where mutual respect is completely lost, or if the constant fights, insults, and sarcasm kill your self-esteem and destroy your self-confidence, and earlier happy times together cannot be retrieved no matter how hard either spouse tries, it may be time to move on.

When there is No Trust Left

A marriage is a commitment for life, and therefore trust plays an important role in its longevity. Confiding in and trusting your spouse implies that you feel that you are in a safe, happy, secure, committed, and supportive environment that makes you feel extremely comfortable.

Trust may be broken for many reasons, such as infidelity, disrespectfulness, lying, cheating, changing attitudes, and more. When your trust in the person you love is broken, it leaves you vulnerable, weak, and suspicious. Your opinion too may cease to matter. You and your spouse can consider counseling to get your married life back on track. If, however, your spouse is unwilling to cooperate, or if the problem resurfaces vigorously after the counseling sessions, it may perhaps be time to consider walking away.

When Your Spouse is Abusive

Your spouse can verbally or physically abuse you for any reason – for example, the spouse may be having a psychological or mental disorder, may have been abused by others in childhood, has anger or control issues, has an addiction, lacks empathy, etc. Abuse begins with arguments and then reaches a point where it can turn physical. Even disagreeing with your spouse can make you feel you are doing everything wrong.

If you are abused and are in immediate danger, call 9-1-1. You can also call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. The bigger thing is that an emotionally, sexually, or physically abusive marriage is not acceptable, and that if you are convinced that the abusive spouse is beyond redemption, please consider walking away.

When Communication between the Spouses Breaks Down

In a marriage, communication is as important as trust. Effective and honest verbal and non-verbal communication that conveys trust, love, affection, understanding, and agreement is one of the pillars of marriage.

Communicating often and effectively can keep the marriage happy, strong, wholesome, caring, and healthy. Communication suffers when trust breaks down or when the marriage is impacted by other factors. There are many ways of repairing a communication breakdown, including toning down aggression, becoming a patient listener, processing feelings before speaking, not yelling, walking away from a fight, not sulking or staying silent, consulting a counselor, etc.

When every attempt to repair the communication breakdown fails, indifference sets in, and all reasonable hope fades away, it may be time to move on.

When Physical and Emotional Intimacy Become Extinct

Emotional intimacy and physical intimacy are linked together in a marriage. Emotional intimacy lays the foundation and builds the relationship, while physical intimacy develops it and perpetuates it. Some marriages without physical intimacy (sexless marriages) can survive for a period of time but not forever, and a marriage without emotional intimacy is also very likely to fail. A high level of emotional intimacy ensures that the couple is forthright, honest, connected, happy, comfortable, and satisfied with each other.

Emotional intimacy dies because of ego issues, conflicts, resentment, or any other reason. When it starts dying, spouses grow distant and start feeling lonely; they become cold, non-communicative, non-empathetic, argumentative, unsupportive, and nervous. Lack of emotional intimacy can also kill physical intimacy.

Therefore, when emotional intimacy dies taking along physical intimacy with it, and reaches a point of no return, you can consider walking away from the marriage.

When Your Gut, Heart, and Brain Tell You to Move Out

When your gut feeling, heart, and brain convey that the future of the marriage is bleak and hopeless, and nothing can be done to make it bright, it may be time to heed that feeling. Of course, you can consider giving it one last chance by addressing the most important issue that is impacting the marriage. But if the marriage cannot be repaired despite your best last-ditch effort, then there may be no point hanging around any longer.

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About the Author: Marco Brown
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Marco C. Brown was named Utah’s Outstanding Family Law Lawyer of the Year in 2015. He graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska College of Law in 2007 and is currently the managing partner of Brown Family Law, LLC.

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Dani is great to work with! She responds quickly and is reliable. She knows her stuff!
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I cannot say enough good things about Brown Family Law. Amy was my attorney and she was great! She always listened and responded quickly. Thanks to her, my case was resolved quickly. Thank you, Amy.
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Best attorney ever. They were so helpful and responsive
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When I started my case with Brown Family Law, they had 650 positive reviews. Now, about a year later, they have 820. Not sure how much else you need to convince you, but do yourself a favor and stop looking. You're in the right place.We worked with Nathaniel for nearly a year on our case, and trusting someone with something so vulnerable and close to you as a custody case is difficult, but he made it easy. His knowledge of law and experience with the court system allowed us to make educated decisions quicker. He helped me feel confident in very unfamiliar territory, and having someone like Nate on my team allowed me to make the best decisions possible for our family. He thought of many things I didn't, and gave us the roadmap to success for navigating a complicated and stressful situation. I found myself constantly bragging about our lawyer to family and expressing how impressed I was in his skill and his fearless nature of getting sh** done. Nate got that dawg in him, yanno what I mean?I like the way Brown Family Law works with their clients; it's different than other law firms, and I can see the benefits of those differences. It's always easy to contact someone at the office, and I get a response very quickly. They are extremely communicative, fast, and thorough. They run a tight ship, and it's obvious the quality differences from other law firms.This is a big and heavy decision, but Brown Family Law will take a lot of that weight off your shoulders. Ask for Nate--you won't be led astray.
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This firm is awesome but special shoutout to Dani, she is an outstanding paralegal. She is very knowledgeable
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I can't say enough about Russell Yauney at Brown Family Law! He has helped me on multiple cases over the years and has always exceeded my expectations. Russell is one of the good guys who isn't afraid to tell you how it is and isn't afraid to stand up and fight for what is right. I'm glad that I have Russell and his team in my corner!
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very helpful to fathers who have been broke by the system and targeted for vaporization(1984). Thank you brown family law.
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Nathaniel was my attorney and I couldn't ask for someone more attentive and level-headed than he is. They made my divorce process so much easier and were very patient with me as I navigated the entire process. Thank you Brown Family Law for all of your help!
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Used Nathaniel Garrabrandt for a child custody case. He is very good, very professional and available. Having been through this a few times that communication is very important. The only warning, and this isnt just Nate per se, but very very costly.
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I've witnessed firsthand how Brown Family Law works hard to care for their clients. They train their staff and attorneys on more than just the law, but how to serve clients with care and integrity.
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Lei the office manager helped tremendously with all hiccups that we ran into and was very responsive and knowledgeable! She is a Rockstar and makes Brown Family Law worthy of 5 stars
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I would hands down suggest Brown Family Law. Nathaniel helped me with my divorce, and he was very knowlegeable and knows his stuff. He helped me file a motion, get somethings changed in the original decree, helped me understand the terms they use, helped me understand how child support is calculated along is all the financial aspects associated with divorce case. He also is very responsive to phone calls and emails which was very helpful whenever I had small questions. Thank you Nathaniel!
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I can’t say enough good things about Brown Family Law, but more specifically, my lawyer David Handy and his paralegal Dani. They are kind and honest and always available to me when I’ve needed them! This is such an exhausting time and they alleviated all of my stress by taking control. I could trust the process knowing I was in great hands!!! The entire law firm works as a team to take care of you! I can’t recommend them enough! Thank you!!!
Response from the owner: Ryan, so glad David and Dani served you so well and alleviated your stress.
They handled my case with the highest degree of professionalism and integrity and made every effort to be efficient and transparent with me throughout the whole process. I was told that they were the best as far as family law is concerned and I believe that praise was fully justified.
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Amber McFee is always professional and great to work with. Being opposing counsel by nature is adversarial, but Amber is professional in approach while effectively advocating for her clients. She will treat you right!
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Overall from start to finish the best experience to have dealing with a time that is difficult.Andrew Christensen is very professional and out going to make this situation the best it could be and worked hard to make sure the divorce was fair for me.Over all, this firm really cares and treats you as a family or friend and just not a client, down to Marco Brown taking time to see how I was doing and offer to help in any way possible during my divorce while I was there for my first initial meeting.I would highly recommend anyone that has to go through a divorce to really reach out to the Brown Family Law firm and see for your self the experience I was able to receive from a top notch law firm.
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Dani was extremely helpful and always responsive.
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My experience with Brown Family Law is a positive one. I highly recommend them. This firm has very good communication with their clients. Attorney Paul Waldron represents me and I’m very happy with the experience. My questions and concerns are always answered quickly and respectfully. I’m grateful to have Mr. Waldron and Brown Family Law in my corner during this difficult time for my family.
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Dani excelled as a paralegal, providing crucial support with exceptional skills!
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I highly recommend Nathaniel and his team. They listened to me, navigated me, educated me, and always called when they said they would. Going through a divorce was very hard but they helped me get through it and showed compassion the whole time.
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They were helpful with clarifying some issues regarding my divorce decree while navigating the modification to another state
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I consulted with Nathaniel regarding a legal issue from Utah that had implications in another state. He was very quick to respond. I found him to be extremely knowledgeable and helpful regarding the issues. Would highly recommend him for anyone looking for a Utah based attorney.
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At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.