A spouse may rush a divorce for one or more of the following reasons:
- Emotional or impulsive decision
- Cheating by one of the spouses
- Mutual and cordial decision
- Wanting to save money and get it over quick
- Addiction and/or domestic abuse
Many people rush into a divorce without thinking about what they will accomplish and how things will change after the divorce. They just want to be out of the relationship immediately. A divorce is a painful event for anyone, no matter how liberating it may seem to some people, but unduly rushing into a divorce can create many complications.
That said, here are some of the reasons why people may rush a divorce:
Emotional or Impulsive Decision
Some people may have grown so distant from their spouse or are angry or fed-up with him/her, or have fallen so out of love that they just want to be done with the relationship, with no desire left to even consider saving the marriage. Such spouses see no other way out other than divorce to get back their happiness in life. They are no longer able to deal with the sadness, guilt, or anger, and therefore they feel that it is best to go for closure.
A spouse may be cheating on his partner either financially or by having an extramarital sexual or emotional affair. He/she may have decided that it would be a good idea to end the marriage before the other spouse discovers his/her secret because such a discovery can lead to lawsuits and financial or emotional pain.
So, when a spouse is rushing a divorce, it is always a good idea for the other spouse to think and dig into the reasons why. He/she can be surprised when the secret is revealed.
Mutual and Cordial Decision
Some spouses may be in a transparent and respectful marriage, but they may not be made for each other. In such marriages, their decision to divorce can be mutual and cordial. They may even remain friends with each other after the event. Even in such a case, our advice to spouses is that it is better not to rush into a divorce because of the reasons explained later.
Some spouses can rush into a quick divorce because it would save them time, and more importantly, money. The median cost of a divorce in the pre-COVID-19 era was $7,500, which can matter a lot in these times of high inflation in an uncertain economy.
Addiction and/or Domestic Abuse
When a spouse just cannot handle the other spouse’s addictions to substances or other vices like gambling, or tolerate the physical/emotional abuse that he/she inflicts on the family, then he/she may feel justified in opting for a divorce than continuing in a painful and chaotic marriage.
It is not a good idea to rush into a divorce no matter how compelling or liberating it may seem. A divorce is a game-changing event that can turn life upside down. It needs thorough discussion and proper planning – not hasty decision-making or quickly drafted agreements. Here is our take on why it makes sense to pause and think and not rush a divorce.
Why You Should Not Rush a Divorce
Division of Property Takes Time
It takes time to gather personal records, property documents, bank accounts statements, and other financial information, and understand how property division will impact both the spouses after the divorce. The attorneys on both sides need to comb through these records and then recommend an asset division that is in line with the state’s laws. If this process is rushed through, the property/assets may be unequally divided and that could impact the future of the spouses and their children.
The Spouse who Rushes a Divorce May Not Hire an Experienced Attorney
Not hiring a family law attorney or working with a rookie divorce attorney just because a spouse is in a hurry can weaken the case. The other spouse’s attorney can offer a bad deal that may look attractive on paper and the vulnerable spouse can jump at it, only to discover at a later date that he/she was shortchanged.
A Parenting Plan Must Be Thought Through
A parenting plan must be drafted in the best interests of the child/children and each plan must take into account the child’s basic needs, comforts, conveniences, and extracurricular activities. Creating such a plan takes time, effort, collaboration, and sometimes even expert opinion. It must not be rushed through.
Decisions about Child Custody Take Time
You need to think through legal and physical custody, which can further be classified as sole, joint, primary, or split custody. Child custody should be planned such that it works in the best interests of the child and only an experienced custody lawyer can help the parents draft a plan that is likely to find the approval of the courts.
Consequences of a Divorce Can Be Unpleasant
Any divorce can leave you with half, or less, of everything you have worked to create during the marriage. It can turn life upside down and cause a lot of pain to your children and family members. A hasty decision can also be regretted by you at a later date.
So, take all the time in the world, imagine your family’s life after the divorce, and think through things carefully before rushing into a divorce.
Finally, hire an experienced divorce attorney who can protect your rights, is a good fit for your case, and specializes in amicably resolving divorces.