How Do You Know If You Are Ready for Divorce?

You know you are ready for divorce when your marriage is affected by one or more of the following symptoms:

Lack of commitment
Lack of trust
Lack of intimacy
Constant acrimony/domestic violence
Threats of divorce
Divorce seems to be inevitable
You are ready to handle the negative fallout of divorce

(This is a curated list of signs based on the feedback collected from marriage counselors, divorce lawyers, and divorced people.)

Lack of Commitment

You are in a marriage of convenience and selfishness in which the focus is on “I” and not on “Us.” Either spouse asks “Is this good for me?” instead of “Is this good for our marriage?” before making a decision. If this is what is happening in your marriage, then your relationship is running on “I don’t care” mode. When either spouse refuses to commit to the marriage, even after therapy/counseling, then your marriage exists only on paper. This is a strong indicator that you are ready to pull the trigger.

Lack of Trust

Trust is one of the pillars of marriage. Trust may be broken when either spouse lies regularly, commits physical or emotional or financial infidelity, is regularly toxic or disrespectful, makes big decisions unilaterally, and does other acts that make him/her untrustworthy.

When trust is lost between the spouses, it is natural to feel insecure and uncomfortable in the relationship. It makes a spouse fear the worst and feel unhappy and stressed out constantly. Also, once mutual trust is broken, it may be impossible to retrieve it back even after the spouses forgive or forget.

So, if you no longer trust your spouse and feel that your best efforts at winning each other’s trust are not bringing any change, then it is a clear-cut sign that a divorce is around the corner. If the spouse does not reform, it may be time to exit the marriage.

Lack of Intimacy

If intimacy is missing in the marriage and you have worked hard to bring it back without any result, then you may feel the time has come to move on.

Constant Acrimony/Domestic Violence

Your spouse’s habits make you majorly stressed and anguished, and despite your setting clear boundaries, your spouse refuses to change. These regular fights and arguments take a toll on your mental health. Sometimes, you both break up to give each other space, but the fights just don’t stop. You agree very rarely on important issues and continue with the bickering despite the marriage counselor’s advice. When you feel that the situation has spun out of control, it is time to part ways.

Domestic violence is intolerable. If during arguments, your spouse has indulged in violence against you or the children, it is time for law and order to step in, and for you to be ready to divorce.

Threats of Divorce

During fights, either spouse may threaten the other with divorce, which may become a regular habit if the couple is at odds almost every day. This behavior suggests that the threatening spouse has been contemplating divorce for some time now, and may soon get triggered. Also, threatening divorce now and then makes the spouse lose all credibility and diminishes the sanctity of marriage. Typically, the breaking point is reached after a lot of toxicity has set in and either spouse is so angry and frustrated that he/she desires immediate change.

Divorce Seems to Be Inevitable

You have given the marriage a lot of thought and consideration, and counseling, family/friend interventions, and adjustments have not helped. You have thought about your marriage in a cold and unemotional manner, resolved your internal conflicts, and believe that divorce is a better, and perhaps the only, option. You also believe that you are not divorcing to right your spouse’s wrongs or to wreak revenge but to improve your mental and physical health and future.

Emotional decisions often backfire, and therefore, when you think about marriage clinically, and feel that divorce is inevitable, it suggests that you are ready for it.

You are Ready to Handle the Negative Fallout of Divorce

Divorce can halve the family finances, sadden the children (and may traumatize them), affect the lifestyle, change the equation with family and friends, make both spouses feel insecure and lonely, and destroy the emotional bond that the spouses have taken years to build.

Assuming divorce will happen, no matter what, then the question you must ask yourself is whether you can handle the negative fallout of divorce responsibly and maturely. To do that, you have to create a support system (financial and/or emotional) that can help you tide over the difficult period. Once you are prepared to handle the negatives, know that you are ready for divorce.

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bjenness79

I highly recommend Nathaniel Garrabrandt and Brown Family Law. If you are going through a divorce and your parental rights are being falsely challenged they are a great option. Nathaniel and Brown family law are professional, very knowledgeable, and know how to navigate within the broken and biased Utah family law court system. They were highly communicative throughout the process. They can potentially save you a lot of time and money if lawfare is being waged against you.

Barbara Thayer

Could not help with my case but referred me to someone who could .

Trisha Caldwell

Clay Randle was great and I would highly recommend him for an attorney.

Danny Caine

Russell was my Lawyer at Brown Family Law. He helped me through my multiple cases after my divorce. He was very responsive whenever I had questions about my cases or understanding how the law works. Russell was respectful of how he used my retainer and always gave me good sound advice even if it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. I highly recommend his services if you’re looking for a top notch Family lawyer! 5 out of 5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Joseph Hutto

I recently engaged Andrew to review my divorce decree that was finalized in another state. He gave me excellent advice. I did not feel pressured to proceed one way or another. Instead, he gave me very reasonable scenarios to consider and allowed me to proceed down the path that felt most comfortable to me.

Natalie Warner

Clay Randle with Brown Family Law was excellent! I love the way the procedures with this company are organized. The attorney calls every Friday to check in with you so there’s no phone tag. Questions are answered very timely every week. Clay was very prompt in responding to emails. He was also great to “read the room” or the situation rather. Throughout the divorce, where grace was extended and healthy negotiation prevailed, he appeared to navigate the process in a calm and skillful way. I could see how he definitely had the capacity to respond in a more contentious, emotionally charged way if needed. He encouraged healthy boundaries with the splitting of assets and he understood both sides of what could happen if asking for a specific thing in the divorce. During a painful situation, Clay was able to crack some (tasteful) jokes and tried to keep a heavy situation feel a little less heavy. Couples seeking a divorce would be wise to choose Brown Family Law. They will be in great hands.

Dusty Boyer

I wholeheartedly recommend Andrew Christensen to anyone facing a divorce or custody battle. His passion and thoroughness as a divorce and custody attorney are truly exceptional. You’d think his name was on the firm’s door with the way he handles business—pouring his heart and expertise into every detail, even though it’s not his firm! From our first meeting, Andrew went far beyond a typical consultation, taking the time to listen, understand my situation, and craft a strategy that led to a successful outcome in my custody case. His dedication, compassion, and meticulous approach make him stand out. If you need an attorney who will fight for you like it’s personal, Andrew is the one to call!

Natalie Lewis

I absolutely believe that Brown Family Law is the best divorce attorney law firm in Utah. Attorney Ray Hingson did a fantastic job for me in a complicated divorce. He was there to guide me through the entire process. Ray touched base with me every week AND every time I called with worries or concerns. He handled things confidently and professionally. He took time to meet with me and explain everything so I could understand it. I felt like he really cared and wanted to do his best for me. His paralegal, Carren Leavitt, was also extremely helpful. All I had to do was pick up the phone and call her and she arranged a time for Ray to call me right back. She was always prompt and caring. I couldn't be happier!