How Do You Know If You Are Ready for Divorce?

You know you are ready for divorce when your marriage is affected by one or more of the following symptoms:

Lack of commitment
Lack of trust
Lack of intimacy
Constant acrimony/domestic violence
Threats of divorce
Divorce seems to be inevitable
You are ready to handle the negative fallout of divorce

(This is a curated list of signs based on the feedback collected from marriage counselors, divorce lawyers, and divorced people.)

Lack of Commitment

You are in a marriage of convenience and selfishness in which the focus is on “I” and not on “Us.” Either spouse asks “Is this good for me?” instead of “Is this good for our marriage?” before making a decision. If this is what is happening in your marriage, then your relationship is running on “I don’t care” mode. When either spouse refuses to commit to the marriage, even after therapy/counseling, then your marriage exists only on paper. This is a strong indicator that you are ready to pull the trigger.

Lack of Trust

Trust is one of the pillars of marriage. Trust may be broken when either spouse lies regularly, commits physical or emotional or financial infidelity, is regularly toxic or disrespectful, makes big decisions unilaterally, and does other acts that make him/her untrustworthy.

When trust is lost between the spouses, it is natural to feel insecure and uncomfortable in the relationship. It makes a spouse fear the worst and feel unhappy and stressed out constantly. Also, once mutual trust is broken, it may be impossible to retrieve it back even after the spouses forgive or forget.

So, if you no longer trust your spouse and feel that your best efforts at winning each other’s trust are not bringing any change, then it is a clear-cut sign that a divorce is around the corner. If the spouse does not reform, it may be time to exit the marriage.

Lack of Intimacy

If intimacy is missing in the marriage and you have worked hard to bring it back without any result, then you may feel the time has come to move on.

Constant Acrimony/Domestic Violence

Your spouse’s habits make you majorly stressed and anguished, and despite your setting clear boundaries, your spouse refuses to change. These regular fights and arguments take a toll on your mental health. Sometimes, you both break up to give each other space, but the fights just don’t stop. You agree very rarely on important issues and continue with the bickering despite the marriage counselor’s advice. When you feel that the situation has spun out of control, it is time to part ways.

Domestic violence is intolerable. If during arguments, your spouse has indulged in violence against you or the children, it is time for law and order to step in, and for you to be ready to divorce.

Threats of Divorce

During fights, either spouse may threaten the other with divorce, which may become a regular habit if the couple is at odds almost every day. This behavior suggests that the threatening spouse has been contemplating divorce for some time now, and may soon get triggered. Also, threatening divorce now and then makes the spouse lose all credibility and diminishes the sanctity of marriage. Typically, the breaking point is reached after a lot of toxicity has set in and either spouse is so angry and frustrated that he/she desires immediate change.

Divorce Seems to Be Inevitable

You have given the marriage a lot of thought and consideration, and counseling, family/friend interventions, and adjustments have not helped. You have thought about your marriage in a cold and unemotional manner, resolved your internal conflicts, and believe that divorce is a better, and perhaps the only, option. You also believe that you are not divorcing to right your spouse’s wrongs or to wreak revenge but to improve your mental and physical health and future.

Emotional decisions often backfire, and therefore, when you think about marriage clinically, and feel that divorce is inevitable, it suggests that you are ready for it.

You are Ready to Handle the Negative Fallout of Divorce

Divorce can halve the family finances, sadden the children (and may traumatize them), affect the lifestyle, change the equation with family and friends, make both spouses feel insecure and lonely, and destroy the emotional bond that the spouses have taken years to build.

Assuming divorce will happen, no matter what, then the question you must ask yourself is whether you can handle the negative fallout of divorce responsibly and maturely. To do that, you have to create a support system (financial and/or emotional) that can help you tide over the difficult period. Once you are prepared to handle the negatives, know that you are ready for divorce.

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Alex Rogers

Nathaniel was an incredible partner throughout the divorce process. He was organized, responsive and respectful of my wishes while simultaneously giving me guidance and advice. I would recommend him to anyone.

Christie Cisneros

I couldn’t have made it through my divorce without Clay and his team! I am forever thankful for the hours and time spent with me to help navigate an extremely difficult time in life. They’re reliable, knowledgeable, and know how to get things moving in an efficient manner. Nothing but good to say here!!

Halie Bates

Working with Daniel Young at Brown Family Law was a truly positive experience during one of the most difficult times of my life. From the start, Daniel was knowledgeable, compassionate, and incredibly responsive.
If you need a family law attorney who combines expertise with empathy, I cannot recommend Daniel Young enough. He is a true advocate and a credit to Brown Family Law.

Jessica Lance

Nathaniel and Carren have been absolutely incredible to work with. They kept me informed and in the loop throughout each step of the process. They always answered every question I had in a very quick and timely manner. I could not recommend them more.

Amy Christensen

This 5-star review is for Nathaniel Garrabrandt at Brown Family Law. Nathaniel was just what we needed. He helped guide us with a level of professionalism, efficiency, and genuine care that made a real difference during a challenging time. He is always thoughtful and respectful, and he never makes you feel like just another case. His communication was clear (with regular check-ins), his advice was solid and uncomplicated, and I always felt that he had his client's best interest at heart as he made suggestions. I’m grateful to have had such a capable and compassionate attorney to work with. You hope you never need these kind of services, but when you do, you want the best... and someone with high integrity. Nathaniel truly deserves all 5 of these stars, in every way.

Kenzie Murphy

Russell Yauney was my attorney at Brown Family Law. Throughout the process, Russell and his paralegal Conor, were extremely helpful and patient. They were highly responsive, thorough, and most importantly: did not make me feel insignificant or embarrassed for asking clarifying questions. Russell made himself available and whenever he wasn't, Conor was. The Friday Phone Calls were reliable and I knew I could expect an update each week. The firm's texting abilities also made it easy to send a quick question/concern if I ever needed it. Russell was a fantastic attorney and guide to have throughout my situation. I highly recommend this firm.