How Do You Know It Might Be Time for a Divorce?

You know it might be time for a divorce when:

How Do You Know It Might Be Time for a Divorce?
  1. Your spouse abuses you
  2. You have fundamental differences over important life goals
  3. The marriage is making you unhappy
  4. There is no intimacy
  5. There are serious disagreements on financial matters
  6. Your spouse is unfaithful
  7. Your best efforts to save the marriage have failed
  8. Other negative factors hurt your marriage

A divorce is a significant and tragic event in anyone’s life. Before asking your divorce attorney to file a petition, we urge you to look inwards and introspect whether you are partly to blame for the problems. (The exception to this is abuse; no one deserves to be abused, no matter what they might have done.) If you are, a course correction is called for. If you are not the source of the problems and are 100% convinced that these issues are more or less permanent, divorce may be the only way out. The decision to divorce must not be impulsive, based on ego, or because of a temporary problem that can be fixed. This life-changing event must be thought through. Even if you have an iota of doubt that your decision may be wrong, we urge you to communicate with your spouse and try and resurrect your marriage by opting for counseling or therapy.

That said, here are a few telltale signs that signal that it’s time to part ways:

Abusive Spouse

Physical, emotional, sexual, or verbal abuse should not be tolerated by a spouse. Though disagreements and verbal fights are common in any marriage, any form of abuse is toxic and non-negotiable. An abusing spouse typically wants to control you and devalue your self-esteem. Abuse can take any form – physical beatings, gaslighting, manipulation, financial deprivation, stonewalling, triangulation, etc., and it may be a signal that there is no point in continuing with the marriage.

Fundamental Differences

Fundamental differences in life goals without any chance of reconciliation can be another sign that the marriage is on the rocks. For example, if one spouse wants to start a family right away while the other spouse wants to focus on his/her career. Another example could be that the spouse who wants to start a family agrees to wait for a few years till the other spouse’s career takes off, and then when the time comes, the other spouse goes back on his/her word. Likewise, there may be other irreconcilable differences related to other life goals that can trip the marriage.

Unhappy Marriage

If your marriage is such that it keeps giving you pain, stress, worry, or unhappiness, then it is time to analyze where things have gone wrong and to take appropriate action. If the problems that are causing distress are long-term in nature and there is no way these can be fixed, then it may be time to think of divorce, rather than continue suffering and compromising on your mental as well as physical health.

Lack of Intimacy

When the spouses love each other but the marriage is sexless or when a marriage is full of sex and yet there is very little or no connection, then it could signal that it’s time to divorce. A lack of intimacy and being disconnected from your spouse means there is no more emotional bond with your spouse. That is when you may start pondering whether there is any meaning left in your relationship and in spending your entire life with him/her. It can happen in marriages of convenience or when couples tie the knot on impulse without much thought and without discussing their likes, dislikes, and goals.

Disagreements on Financial Matters

Continuing differences in monthly budgeting, saving, overspending, gambling, etc., can strain the family’s finances and cause a lot of distress in the marriage. Of course, these issues can be resolved with some effective communication. However, if both spouses are not in agreement and the financial habits of one, or both spouses, are causing regular distress, it may be time to move on.

Infidelity

A spouse may be having an extramarital affair on the sly, and if he/she gets away with it, he/she might do several encores. Well, infidelity is betrayal and once there is betrayal in a marriage, the unfaithful spouse will always be seen as untrustworthy. A spouse can cheat because he resents the other spouse for whatever reason or is unhappy in the marriage. Once a spouse cheats, the marriage loses its original flavor and it could slowly depreciate and lead to a parting of ways.

Marriage Can’t Be Salvaged

When your best efforts to save or improve your marriage have failed and no amount of effective communication can salvage it, then it could signal time to divorce. There is no point wasting your time, energy, and efforts on a futile exercise.

Other Factors

An irreparable communication breakdown, growing resentment, lack of respect, extreme selfishness, the feeling of comfort in being left alone, or staying on for the sake of the kids are some other factors that can intensify the feeling that it’s time for a divorce.

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About the Author: Marco Brown
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Marco C. Brown was named Utah’s Outstanding Family Law Lawyer of the Year in 2015. He graduated with distinction from the University of Nebraska College of Law in 2007 and is currently the managing partner of Brown Family Law, LLC.

WHAT OUR CLIENTS SAY AND WHY

Check out what some of our real life clients had to say about working with Brown Family Law

Brown Family Law
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Dani is great to work with! She responds quickly and is reliable. She knows her stuff!
They are very efficient and Ray was exceptionally efficient, helpful and caring. I definitely recommend them.
Response from the owner: John, we're glad Ray served you so well. Thank you for your kind words.
Sophie was an amazing person to work with. She helped walk me through many of my concerns I had in a clear and concise manner. She regularly followed and reached out with me, making me feel like not just another number.
Response from the owner: Thank you, and so glad Sophie communicated so well with you.
Ray did an outstanding job. Would highly recommend.
Response from the owner: Michael, glad Ray did such a good job for you.
Had an hour consultation. Answered all the questions I had, explained everything in an understandable way and followed up.
Response from the owner: Glad we were able to help, Ariel.
Carren and Jason were very helpful and quick to respond to my questions and concerns as we worked through my divorce, I would recommend them to anyone.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Bill.
I cannot say enough good things about Brown Family Law. Amy was my attorney and she was great! She always listened and responded quickly. Thanks to her, my case was resolved quickly. Thank you, Amy.
Response from the owner: Glad Amy communicated so well with you, James.
Fast and kept me involved. Very professional team.
Response from the owner: Jace, thank you.
Best attorney ever. They were so helpful and responsive
Response from the owner: Thank you, Shaun.
When I started my case with Brown Family Law, they had 650 positive reviews. Now, about a year later, they have 820. Not sure how much else you need to convince you, but do yourself a favor and stop looking. You're in the right place.We worked with Nathaniel for nearly a year on our case, and trusting someone with something so vulnerable and close to you as a custody case is difficult, but he made it easy. His knowledge of law and experience with the court system allowed us to make educated decisions quicker. He helped me feel confident in very unfamiliar territory, and having someone like Nate on my team allowed me to make the best decisions possible for our family. He thought of many things I didn't, and gave us the roadmap to success for navigating a complicated and stressful situation. I found myself constantly bragging about our lawyer to family and expressing how impressed I was in his skill and his fearless nature of getting sh** done. Nate got that dawg in him, yanno what I mean?I like the way Brown Family Law works with their clients; it's different than other law firms, and I can see the benefits of those differences. It's always easy to contact someone at the office, and I get a response very quickly. They are extremely communicative, fast, and thorough. They run a tight ship, and it's obvious the quality differences from other law firms.This is a big and heavy decision, but Brown Family Law will take a lot of that weight off your shoulders. Ask for Nate--you won't be led astray.
Response from the owner: Christie, thank you. So glad Nathaniel was able to help you and that we were able to communicate with you so quickly.
This firm is awesome but special shoutout to Dani, she is an outstanding paralegal. She is very knowledgeable
Response from the owner: Thank you very much for your kind words about Dani.
I can't say enough about Russell Yauney at Brown Family Law! He has helped me on multiple cases over the years and has always exceeded my expectations. Russell is one of the good guys who isn't afraid to tell you how it is and isn't afraid to stand up and fight for what is right. I'm glad that I have Russell and his team in my corner!
Response from the owner: Karl, glad Russell served you well.
very helpful to fathers who have been broke by the system and targeted for vaporization(1984). Thank you brown family law.
Response from the owner: You're welcome, Ryan. And thank you for the kind words.
Nathaniel was my attorney and I couldn't ask for someone more attentive and level-headed than he is. They made my divorce process so much easier and were very patient with me as I navigated the entire process. Thank you Brown Family Law for all of your help!
Response from the owner: Samantha, thank you and so glad Nathaniel did such a good job for you.
Used Nathaniel Garrabrandt for a child custody case. He is very good, very professional and available. Having been through this a few times that communication is very important. The only warning, and this isnt just Nate per se, but very very costly.
Response from the owner: Danny, thank you for recommendation. Glad Nathaniel has been able to help you.
I've witnessed firsthand how Brown Family Law works hard to care for their clients. They train their staff and attorneys on more than just the law, but how to serve clients with care and integrity.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Amber.
Amber McFee Super hard working , determined, while always fight for what is right
Response from the owner: Glad we could help.
Lei was something special. She was very understanding of our situation and her advice and listening ear made our decision and path forward clear. Thank you!
Response from the owner: Adam, you're welcome, and thank you.
Andrew did a great on my case. Communication was consistent, to the point and he kept me well informed. I also had the pleasure working with Clay. Top notch firm, very confident, and I would highly recommend them if you want to win. Thanks again team ~D
Response from the owner: Dan, thank you, and glad Andrew helped you so well.
Lei the office manager helped tremendously with all hiccups that we ran into and was very responsive and knowledgeable! She is a Rockstar and makes Brown Family Law worthy of 5 stars
Response from the owner: Thank you.
Sierra was so helpful right from the moment she answered our call. She gave all her support and resources and made sure to ask if we needed anything else before moving forward. Thank you so much!
Response from the owner: Thank you, Mel. Glad Sierra was able to help.
I would hands down suggest Brown Family Law. Nathaniel helped me with my divorce, and he was very knowlegeable and knows his stuff. He helped me file a motion, get somethings changed in the original decree, helped me understand the terms they use, helped me understand how child support is calculated along is all the financial aspects associated with divorce case. He also is very responsive to phone calls and emails which was very helpful whenever I had small questions. Thank you Nathaniel!
Response from the owner: Andrew, thank you for your kind words.
I can’t say enough good things about Brown Family Law, but more specifically, my lawyer David Handy and his paralegal Dani. They are kind and honest and always available to me when I’ve needed them! This is such an exhausting time and they alleviated all of my stress by taking control. I could trust the process knowing I was in great hands!!! The entire law firm works as a team to take care of you! I can’t recommend them enough! Thank you!!!
Response from the owner: Ryan, so glad David and Dani served you so well and alleviated your stress.
They handled my case with the highest degree of professionalism and integrity and made every effort to be efficient and transparent with me throughout the whole process. I was told that they were the best as far as family law is concerned and I believe that praise was fully justified.
Response from the owner: Ben, thank you.
Amber McFee is always professional and great to work with. Being opposing counsel by nature is adversarial, but Amber is professional in approach while effectively advocating for her clients. She will treat you right!
Response from the owner: Thank you, Jonathan.
Overall from start to finish the best experience to have dealing with a time that is difficult.Andrew Christensen is very professional and out going to make this situation the best it could be and worked hard to make sure the divorce was fair for me.Over all, this firm really cares and treats you as a family or friend and just not a client, down to Marco Brown taking time to see how I was doing and offer to help in any way possible during my divorce while I was there for my first initial meeting.I would highly recommend anyone that has to go through a divorce to really reach out to the Brown Family Law firm and see for your self the experience I was able to receive from a top notch law firm.
Response from the owner: Devin, thank you for the kind words. Andrew appreciated the opportunity to help you with your situation.
Sophie was very helpful and explains the process and fees. Thank you!
Response from the owner: Corey, thank you for the kind words. Glad we could help.
Dani always kept me updated and has great communication skills.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Sofia.
Dani was extremely helpful and always responsive.
Response from the owner: Glad Dani did well for you.
My experience with Brown Family Law is a positive one. I highly recommend them. This firm has very good communication with their clients. Attorney Paul Waldron represents me and I’m very happy with the experience. My questions and concerns are always answered quickly and respectfully. I’m grateful to have Mr. Waldron and Brown Family Law in my corner during this difficult time for my family.
Response from the owner: Jodie, glad we were able to communicate with you so effectively and quickly. Thank you for your kind words.
Dani excelled as a paralegal, providing crucial support with exceptional skills!
Response from the owner: Glad Dani did such a good job for you.
Thank you So much
Response from the owner: You're welcome. Thank you for choosing us to help you.
I highly recommend Nathaniel and his team. They listened to me, navigated me, educated me, and always called when they said they would. Going through a divorce was very hard but they helped me get through it and showed compassion the whole time.
Response from the owner: Amy, thank you for your recommendation, and glad we could help you through your divorce.
They were helpful with clarifying some issues regarding my divorce decree while navigating the modification to another state
Response from the owner: Glad we could help.
I consulted with Nathaniel regarding a legal issue from Utah that had implications in another state. He was very quick to respond. I found him to be extremely knowledgeable and helpful regarding the issues. Would highly recommend him for anyone looking for a Utah based attorney.
Response from the owner: Thank you, Trey.
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At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.
At Welty Law Office, we know that when we make children’s well-being a priority, their parents do better, too.